Why is Zetty on the floor?

Often times caregiving comes with surprises. In this episode of the Parenting Up podcast, J talks about when she was having a productive wave, planning her Comedy tour, creating with her staff, and boom —she is notified that Zetty - who is supposed to be in bed- is on flat on the floor.

Join J as she navigates going from a large-scale meeting for her upcoming comedy tour to aiding Zetty - who just got out of the hospital - off the floor in a matter of minutes.

Snuggle Up with today’s takeaways and be encouraged. 

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Join Alzheimer's favorite duo for another journey of heavy reality sprinkled with love and laughter.

"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"

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"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

You ever been laying on the beach getting that suntan talking to your girl, snuggling with your boo? And then literally an 18-wheeler runs over you like wow, you're on the beach and your body is crushed and all of your food is thrown away. Like right there. You like how the hell did that happen? How did the car, the truck even get on the beach? Like why didn't somebody tell me this was coming? How did my perfect day with my people get ruined? That's what it's like being a caregiver you just chilling under a perfect sunny day and then it's over. Literally. That's what happened y'all just the other day. Like I was just chilling and then like yeah, a caregiver ran up in my office and said Jay Zeddy's on the floor. What the f you mean? What what?

Speaker 1: 1:07

Parenting up, caregiving adventures with comedian Daysmiles is the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama. For over a decade I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her and pushing Alzheimer's awareness on anyone and anything with a heartbeat. Spoiler alert I started comedy because this shit is so heavy, so be ready for the jokes. Caregiver newbies, ogs and village members just willing to prop up a caregiver. You are in the right place. Hi, this is Zeddy. I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast. Is that okay? Season four, episode one why is Zeddy on the floor? Our parenting up community is growing so fast I can't put out a episode as fast as we're growing. Go text podcast to 404-737-1449 for updates, exclusives and suggestions on topics. While you had it, share an episode with a caregiver you love Review on Apple Podcasts and follow us on social media. Subscribe to our YouTube page, please. It really helps.

Speaker 1: 2:36

Today's sponsor is the outside been open Tour. Go to Jaysmilescom for tickets. You can see Chicago, new York, houston, atlanta. You better get your tickets. I'm sitting real calmly, real comfortably at my desk. My team is there. We're getting ready for my tour.

Speaker 1: 3:07

Imagine like it is a perfectly sunny day, like, seriously, everything's going right, which is so freaking rare. We're talking about venues, my hair, my makeup, we got the jokes lined up. My team is telling me okay, jay, your airplane check, hotel, check Delta. Finally, they got a preference on which way I want to be seated and which row. Yeah, I'm a little particular with that kind of stuff. Oh, this is going right. I'm going through where I got comedy keynotes. I'm popping that in and out of where I'm doing comedy tours because, listen, I ain't got that big, big, big, big, big money yet. So until I get that big, big, big money, I what you call double dip. So if I'm going to a comedy show in that morning, I'm trying to do some comedy keynotes. Okay, I'm making all this thing work and making it do what it do. We're doing all these kind of things, checking all these boxes. The mean is going great.

Speaker 1: 4:22

Then I hear the elevator. It's the middle of the day. Ain't nobody supposed to be on the elevator? Do you understand what I'm saying? Like nobody. The caregiver is supposed to be with Zeddy. Zeddy ain't awake yet. So who on the elevator? Either somebody has broken into my house or there's a problem.

Speaker 1: 4:49

So I immediately tense up. I'm like so my team is like what's that noise? And I was like I'm waiting, I'm chilling, I'm looking around, trying not to expect the worst. Everybody words out Jay, quick is Zeddy, y'all. I stand up like this. You would've thought I was in the Olympics, about to go do the pole vault or the triple vault. You know, when the people stand up real tall like this right before they start running, they do like that. I'm not a runner, so I don't really know the move. But no, the people do like this and they do like that before they about to get serious. Okay, I did that.

Speaker 1: 5:38

I said where is Zeddy? Because the first thing I'm thinking is how come you didn't just call me? I'm down here with my cell phone. Why didn't you just text me to say come see your mama? Can you down here talk about my mama? She said. I said, should I call 911? Yes, call 911. She on the floor. Why is Zeddy on the floor? She's supposed to be in the bed. Y'all, it's still so early in the day. Zeddy's supposed to be on the bed. She said what?

Speaker 1: 6:16

I kick my flip flops off. Kick them off, because I know I'm not gonna be the runner up the stairs fast enough in these flip flops. I'm gonna trip, trip, I'm gonna trip. That's you know. Anyway, that's what's gonna happen Y'all. I take them steps, three or four at a time, lacing that lawn. That's what happens. I get up there. I gotta go up three flights of steps. I am breathing like them people on my 600 pound life.

Speaker 1: 6:50

Now, I ain't talking about them in their size, I'm just trying to give y'all an idea about the hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm, hmm. All right, my mama is on the floor like this. What? Sadie just got out the hospital a week ago and she was in there a whole damn week. I have never seen my mama passed out on the floor. All the stuff I've been through with Zeddy, this heifer ain't never been on the floor, okay, on her back. Now she has been kind of sitting on the floor or maybe on her butt or on her knee or something like that.

Speaker 1: 7:43

And remember, I'm from the South. You can call your mama a heifer, but you can't call her the B word. So for any of y'all who are in another country, or if you up North, I'm a, I okay, and besides that, she don't know what I'm saying. Remember she got Alzheimer's, so just chill, sit down, man. I, if my mama has a fairer complexion than I do, but this chick still didn't have no color, okay, she was like cloud white. All the blood was gone. I'm like mama, mama, this is her. Okay, now she doesn't say my name anymore, but when I call that heifer name she goes huh, but not in that moment, y'all.

Speaker 1: 8:36

She had a stroke a few months ago and now I'm wondering is this chick trying to have another stroke on me. Is the Lord trying to tell me I can't go on a comedy tour? This is a hell of a way to tell me, jesus. Why don't you just make the venues all burn up or something like that you know what I'm saying. Or make my car blow up, don't give my mama another stroke, heart attack thing.

Speaker 1: 9:00

Anyway, I get up there. There's some woman, I don't know, in scrubs. The caregiver says oh Jay, this is the physical therapist. Where the hell this lady get in here? I didn't even know she was here but turns out thank God she was there. She got 911 on the phone and I couldn't Y'all.

Speaker 1: 9:24

As I'm running up the steps, I'm trying to get 911 on the phone. They tell me the best baby, baby stored bulb is sweet. We don't have anyone to service you. I'm sorry. I have a senior citizen who has passed clean out. Who the hell is a greater person of need? She got the high blood pressure, she didn't have the stroke and she out here with the unconscious. You trying to tell me somebody else, what? But that physical therapist, y'all. She got on that phone.

Speaker 1: 10:08

This lady just happened to be there because my mama was in the hospital two weeks before she was up here. You know how they give you the little healthcare person coming to the house to try to make you get strong again. That's what that lady was here for. I didn't even know what she was saying, so she was just there for her schedule visit Y'all. She got in there and she lit their butts up. She said I'm so and so with the such and such certification.

Speaker 1: 10:40

She made the caregiver go get the blood pressure cuff. Okay, I didn't told y'all, have a blood pressure cuff, they don't cost that much. Off of Amazon or go to Walmart Target, whatever you want to do, and have the read the oxygen off your little finger. You can get them even out of CVS. I had the blood pressure cuff. We had the little oxygen reader thing. We gave it to her. Thank God she was there to take it, as if I would have had any kind of wits about me to put that thing on right. She took it, called the people and she was like listen, put your manager on the phone. I didn't even know you could ask for the manager at the 911. Did you know they had managers? Listen, this sister said put your manager on the phone. All I know is they sent some people Now it did look like Billy Bob and his cousin who came, and I was a little worried if they were going to take care of my mama.

Speaker 1: 11:44

One of them did take care of my mama, and the other one was. It was a little tricky. I think the biggest thing was we got a lot of steps and he wasn't really in shape. Now, y'all, this is what I want to ask you Are you supposed to be an EMT if you can't walk up a flight of stairs? Now, that's a question. Now I'm a comedian and it's a coming for you if you're a firefighter or EMT. What I'm asking, though, is, if you cannot comfortably walk up a flight of stairs, can you ever really save and care for my mama? That's all I'm trying to say. So that was tricky, but that woman made the city of Atlanta. Get the EMT here, y'all.

Speaker 1: 12:31

They figured out that my mama fainted and passed out because she was straining to have a bubble. Yo, zeddy, are you serious? You are here about to make me choke out because you got to drop a loan. Wouldn't you describe to me how she was bent over the rail and got, and then she passed out of her legs buckle, are you serious. Are you really serious right now, mama? Alright, let me back up a little bit.

Speaker 1: 13:19

When I first got upstairs and saw my mama on the floor I don't know how to talk about it I she was on a hard marble like floor and Zeddy ain't, but this long, okay, maybe that long, she's like five feet, and where she was she couldn't even stretch her whole little legs out and her head was on the floor and her butt in any way. Listen, she don't need a BBL. You know what I'm saying. When the people get to BBL, they still ain't got as much back there as what my mama has. So I'm trying to figure out how can I put a little bolster or something under the little baby legs and the little booty and put something up under her head, cause I'm like she got to be uncomfortable, right. And then there's an odor. Okay, I'm like, listen here to the PT lady and to the caregiver.

Speaker 1: 14:17

I'm like, well, while we trying to figure out, maybe if Atlanta is going to ever send somebody to see if my mama dying, we could at least clean up, right, can we clean up? Have y'all ever tried to clean up somebody that is actually on a hard surface? I mean, we got to do a push and roll and tug kind of like they do in the hospital. But that's a bed, y'all. It's like it's a bed with rails on the side and it's throwing me like two, four, seven nurses in there and you can raise the bed up and lower it into the legs and then the arm and then the head. And we ain't got none of that and I'm like she does not go so good. But I can't do that. I can't have my mama all in turn to twidget. So I'm trying to push this up and pull it over and come around, y'all. I'm trying to roll my mama like a Tootsie Roll or a Fruit Roll Up on a hard ass.

Speaker 1: 15:28

I know what you're thinking J wait. Why don't you just wait till the paramedics come? What if they don't come? The people on the 911 told us we'll have to wait. Guess what? One of them told us y'all Go and wait. Why don't you guess? Guess that's wrong. Let me tell you what they said Put her in the car and take her to the nearest ER, the nearest Hell. No, you won't need to guess. I'm supposed to look at Google, the ways of something, what you want me to map questions, shit, listen, you can't even tell me based on my address. Who do you think I should go to? Woohoohoohoohoo, anyway.

Speaker 1: 16:10

So I'm all trying to put bed pads under her and spreads and chucks and bags and what you call it, pillows, and a foam roller, because I got a bad IT band over here. So I do have a foam roller. So shout out to my chiropractor. Thank God I got one of those Just to get her cleaned up. And now, look, gloves. Everybody got on a glove Me, the PT and the caregiver Trying to wipe her and clean her up.

Speaker 1: 16:40

But I rolled that baby over. This is all you hear. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I don't know if the baby is screaming because the flare and her hip or if it's something that made her fall out in the first place.

Speaker 1: 17:01

Can't you imagine the panic that's going on in between me? Is this a reason why you went to hospital two weeks ago and they didn't f and figure it out? Or is this why you collapsed a minute ago? Or is this just because this damn floor is hard and cold? I don't know y'all, because I'm a comedian and a podcaster on my best day. I don't really know, but that's the kind of crap that you go through as a caregiver, and I was just a minute ago just trying to figure out how I'm about to do this comedy tour, but now I'm supposed to be. What are my doc mix stuff is what the hell is going on here. Okay, yeah, anyway. So I got to do all this Because, I listen, I can at least clean my mama up, right? What kind of black girl magic is this? You got her slaying in feces. So, anyway, here we go. We cleaned it up and she did let out a load. Okay, it was a whole load. So I was like, well, what if it ain't a load? It's like y'all thinking it's a vasovagosyncope, whatever. So it was, it was a big old, big old, big old load.

Speaker 1: 18:02

The next blessing was after the EMTs got there. They got all their little fancy equipment, my primary care physician well, it wasn't really mine, it's my mama's the primary care physician y'all calls me on my cell. Y'all better be good to them, doctors, you know, send them a little postcard or something, or send them an email back, cause they don't get paid as much as you think, no more than insurance company jacks them around Y'all. That day, zeddy had a virtual appointment as a follow up to the stupid time she had just been in the hospital and the virtual appointment was right. Then, when Zeta was on the floor acting like she was trying to die on me, again we make the virtual, but because I'm such a stickler on my mom's health with this primary care, she called me and guess what she said. She said hey, jay, they told me that we should probably just try to reschedule with you. And I told him no, now is that just in the hospital.

Speaker 1: 19:23

Jay wouldn't miss this appointment. Give me her cell boom. Angels, come out of nowhere for you, right, like this physical therapist. We, two hours in, she's still at the appointment with us, y'all. She wouldn't leave because she didn't trust that second EMT, the one that probably really didn't pass the physical test for the EMT. I mean, I'm just trying to say. I'm just trying to say he could have walked up a flight of stairs. I'm not saying what is what is, intentions are, but I don't know how he really could have helped carry my mama out of here If and she needed to leave anyway. I digress back on topic. Jay, the physical therapist. I don't know these home health people supposed to give you what? 30 minutes.

Speaker 1: 20:17

Two hours later, she's still in here. She wouldn't even let the physical therapy I mean the, the EMT do help lift my mama or help pull her pants on. She was like I got it. You know what I'm saying. That's the kind of blessing and the primary care position go call and say yeah, no, I don't think that's right, I ain't think it was right. So I'm calling you. And I said there's on the floor right now, what should I do? And she was like Tell me what they're saying. And I was like what they really said. She was like okay, you breathe, hold on, let me walk outside, y'all. I walked outside and then I had my whole breakdown on her. I couldn't bring down in front of my mama. No, I'm saying because she feels me, her in. Yo, y'all notice, as caregivers, your L? O Feels your energy, even when they can't talk back to you. So I had my little breakdown with.

Speaker 1: 21:11

The doctor came back in. She was like yo, as long as the blood pressure and the pulse and the oxygen are within this realm, you good. And then they did a EKG and they found some right branch block, beta, fruit, roll up. You know, I mean chicken scratch, things that I had never heard of. But our primary care said Already, knew that, take this little hospital, take this out. And then she was like telling me, already knew that. I was like yo, we already knew that, she already knew it. But you see them saying you see how it was just covered. Sometimes you just, you know the blind leading the KC, but you still covered.

Speaker 1: 22:01

And so basically we got Zed up off that floor one EMT, the PT and me and Zed. He got in the bed, looked up at her, started smiling and said hey, how y'all doing. Have for how we doing. Oh, the carrot giver said you hungry? She said yeah, I could eat. Now you really gonna act like everything's okay. You know what, you know what. You just ruined the rest of my week and you good. Now Let me tell y'all what happened on y'all. Seriously, this is what came with my growth as a carrot giver.

Speaker 1: 22:58

I went back to my office in 30 minutes. I talked to my staff and I said we're gonna have to cancel the rest of this day. Let me go ahead and figure out what I gotta do and what I can push back. I took a shower, put on my pajamas and I was in the bed at seven o'clock cause that day had gotten enough out of me. All right, earlier in my caregiving career I would have tried to push through. It was like, oh, it's just six pm, I can get things done. Hell, no, that was enough. I thought my mama was dying. So you can sometimes just take a chill, go back to the next day, all right. So anyway is that it played me again the snuggle up.

Speaker 1: 23:57

Listen, the first thing is, let me tell you, when I first started being a carrot giver, I wouldn't have handled none of this stuff the same the amount of panic and freak out that would have happened. So do know this has been 12 years into making. Don't you be too hard on yourself if you are a newbie and you take a little longer to figure out some of the things that I shared with you that I did, like the way I handled talking to the EMTs or talking to the physical therapist, or the fact that I didn't go jump out the window right In year two and three. I did jump out the window. So be easy on yourself. It came with a whole lot of experience and time for me to be calm when my mom has all of these kind of medical emergencies, just chill.

Speaker 1: 24:57

Number two hey, angels and helpers are going to come your way Right when you think you're alone and who the hell is gonna get you through this? Y'all saw how that physical therapist just happened to be in the house. I didn't even know she was with Zettie in the caregiver, but she was there. The universe just placed this person, who was able to use her little special fancy work cell phone to get 911, to finally answer why the hell would 911 come on my little bitty phone? But that's not the point. I'm not gonna get into all that because they did tell us 911 is a joke in your town. So I'm not gonna even get into how I come to Southwest side of Atlanta, can't get on EMTs, but anyway, the lady was there and she came and she helped me. So, right in the nick of time, you will get what you need. So just and be thankful and just stay the course.

Speaker 1: 25:59

Number three you caregiver, cg all on your chest. You know what I'm saying. People are gonna try to shake you every day with some stupid. It has nothing to do with your LL, but you know, when you get back home and you get the call from that facility, you gotta still be strong. Remind yourself what was the last courageous thing that you did. Maybe it wasn't today, maybe it was last month. Maybe it didn't have anything to do with this role, maybe it was at work. Maybe you actually got eight hours of sleep. Maybe you gave yourself a spa treatment. Maybe you told your person you dated. You know what. It is your turn to do the dishes, whatever. Give yourself credit for that. A whole lot of people give up in life. You didn't. You keep showing up, and that alone is courageous. You care about this.

Speaker 1: 26:57

Today's sponsor is the outside been open tour DC, chicago, new York, houston, atlanta. You better get your tickets. We made it. Thank you for listening. Please share with someone you love. Subscribe for continuous caregiving, tips, tricks, trends and truth. And pretty pretty please with Brain Health Sweden on top Review on Apple Podcast. Subscribe to our YouTube page and follow us on social media too. I'm a comedian. Alzheimer's is heavy, but we ain't gotta be.