Parenting Up! Best of 2024

Parenting Up! family, thank you for another amazing year!

We hit some major milestones, surpassing 100 episodes and 100 subscribers on YouTube, plus had some incredible episodes with memorable guests and we could not have done it without you.

Many thanks to NPR radio for featuring us and Hilarity for Charity for naming us one of the top three podcasts! We appreciate every review, like, comment, and share. Get ready and for a dynamic 2025!   

Join our community on Patreon at patreon.com/jsmilesstudios.

Host: J Smiles
Producer: Mia Hall
Editor: Annelise Udoye

Chapters

• 0:00 Caregiving Comedy With Parenting Tips
• 8:57 Navigating Career Paths and Parental Guidance
• 23:36 Caregiving Perspectives and Compassionate Communication
• 31:48 Choosing to Care for a Bully

Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:00

What's up? Parents and the family what's up? Are y'all ready for your first year in review summary from me and my team? Yep, that's what we doing this year 2024 was fast and furious. Some of it sucked and some of it was spectacular. So what we gonna do? We gonna flip it and reverse it. We gonna give you some of our favorite, our snuggle ups, some of the clips, some pictures. All right, you got in the DMs, you gave it to us in the comments. You let us know what you liked about Zeddy. Everybody loves Zeddy and we're going to spice that up and split it up, all right. So share it, watch it, listen. Most importantly, take care of yourselves. All right, the world is stressing us out, but Alzheimer's is heavy. We ain't gotta be. We got each other. See you in 2025.

Speaker 1: 0:58

Parenting Up caregiving adventures with comedian Jay Smiles is the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama. For over a decade, I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her and pushing Alzheimer's awareness on anyone and anything with a heartbeat. Spoiler alert this shit is heavy. That's why I started doing comedy. So be ready for the jokes Caregiver newbies, ogs and village members just willing to prop up a caregiver, you are in the right place. Hi, this is Zeddy. I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast.

Speaker 4: 1:46

You got, okay, you got okay.

Speaker 1: 2:06

I got 50 minutes of sleep, five zero 10 minutes, less than an hour. I was nervous, I was worried. I was like, oh my God, my brain is not even going to be awake enough to be witty or to be spontaneous, which is the kind of comedy they wanted. Because I asked them is there a theme you want me to talk about or stay away from? They said no, jay, just come in and spitball with the other comedians. What I sleep long enough to spitball. I told my team OK, I need a Coca-Cola. Told my team, I think, okay, I need a Coca-Cola and I need to just kind of get my mind right so that I can clear my mind enough to then allow the universe and the Holy Spirit to just put stuff in it as needed.

Speaker 1: 2:57

Y'all, I walk into the green room. I walk into the green room First thing. No, I walk into the station. I'm walking up the steps. The executive producer is coming down the steps and she said I've been looking for you. I left my office early to come down and give you a hug. What I wish I could see my face. What, where they do that at. She said okay, go ahead to the green room. I'm going back upstairs now. I just wanted to catch you before you got camera ready. It's like, okay, all right, universe, all right, ancestors, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, they really want me here. All right, all right, okay, let, okay, cool, let me do this, let me do this, let me do this. I walk into the green room. Chase smiles, of course you'll be here. Hell yeah, girl, what's up, what's up, what's up? And it is the biggest love fest with me and comedian Kelly Kells. If you don't know her, you're welcome in advance.

Speaker 1: 4:05

Kelly K-E-L-L-Y, k-e-l-l-z. She's phenomenal, full of energy, super positive. She's killing it all over the United States. She gives me a big hug, then your fly auntie says I'm y'all's sorority. I hadn't even met her before, so I don't even know how she whatever, it doesn't matter, because Kelly and I didn't say we were daughters, we just started hugging. She said I'm y'all's sor, so right too. She all leaned in and she was looking gorgeous and she's a lot taller than me. So her lean in. You know. I was like right, you win. That's big energy. And he go, this big ass hug back turns out she has a phenomenal story of overcoming. Anyway, look her up. But she's out here doing big things, big positive things and making sure that other people know. Not only are you not alone, the big thing is, you always have your damn self. Her story to me sound like quit looking around for somebody else to come do something for you. You got you and figure out whatever it is inside of you that can help you do the thing you need. It was pretty amazing. I turn, I look around and then I'm like I know so damn well, that can't be her. I know so. I'm spinning in circles. I'm like I know so damn, that ain't her.

Speaker 1: 5:49

The infamous Coco Brown. I mean Comic View, tyler Perry, netflix. She got a Netflix special, y'all. I go to hug her and stand up and she's like I remember you. I'm sorry, coco Brown, did you say you remember me? She's like haven't we met? I'm like yeah, I remember when we met. I got the selfies in my phone. The point is, you remember me, listen, y'all. She can call Tyler Perry, she can call Oprah. Do you understand what I'm saying? She could call Jimmy Kimmel, like now. And she, and she was like yeah.

Speaker 1: 6:28

And then she ran down the other comedians that were on the show and I said I've been trying to, I've been, I've been wanting to be with you and talk to you and ask questions and mentor you and she was like well, what happened? I said, well, some of the people that I knew, that knew you, said you were really busy. She was like today's the day, yo. She started sharing her story with me. She was a caregiver for both her parents. I didn't know that they now have their wings, both of them. She's going to be on the parenting of podcast and she's gonna be my comedy mentor.

Speaker 1: 7:11

Look, in that part. She offered I ain't even have to force, but I did a little bit kind of say, you know, you got to be on my podcast and she kind of looked. I was like, okay, anyway, let me tell you what the podcast, because I can only imagine how many people have asked Coco Brown and it's C-O-C-O-A. Coco. There's an A on there. I'm talking fast, but just make sure you put an A on there. Coco Brown, I can't imagine how many people have asked her to be. I mean, she, she kills the game and she's a real actor. She's an actor and a stand-up comedian, like she didn't even have to let me finish the conversation. But she said well, what's your podcast about? The minute. I said parenting up, I'm a caregiver. She was like done. I was like, but let me. She's like sis done, and whoever it was that knows me that didn't let us meet earlier. She said I apologize, don't hold it against them and don't hold it against me. I'm not that kind of person. And I was like, wow.

Speaker 1: 8:20

What got me excited about the law was what I knew about the civil rights movement and the fact that for the last, the whole 19th century, everybody that was a part of making change seemed to be a lawyer. There was always a lawyer in the mix. I should say there's a lawyer in the mix that was designing the strategy around how we're going to break this rule, break these ugly rules for women, for men, for kids, for foreigners coming into America. And I was like I want to do that because I want to help. When I was preparing to go to Howard, my dad said baby, don't major in pre-law. That is the dumbest program ever, he said, because if, for any reason, you don't choose law school, you're stuck with a degree that is absolutely useless. And Spoiler alert I hate reading and writing.

Speaker 1: 9:24

I hate it. I can do it, I just don't like it. And my father knew that I loved math and science. Like I will do a math problem, like other people will play jacks or hopscotch or jump rope when I was a kid. Okay, so that's what an interesting comment, okay? And so my dad said you know what, baby? What you need to do when you go to Howard is you need to major in something where you will take your butt to class. The most important thing for law school is to actually graduate from undergraduate school. Okay, with the best GPA you can. They don't care if you graduate in basket meeting Graduate with the highest GPA. So what will make you go to class? And I said math and science. He said, well, go major in that.

Speaker 1: 10:10

My mama was mad as hell. She said don't let her major in something that's not law, because then she's going to get distracted and get over here. And he said I don't care. What I don't want her to do is not graduate, or graduate with grades so poor that it's hard to get in law school. So I'm in, I'm in, I'm at Howard.

Speaker 1: 10:33

My father ended up being so right I'm at Howard, I'm finishing my junior studies. I fall so in love with engineering that I want to go design stuff. And I kind of tested by my mama one day and she's like I don't know what you're talking about. You're going to law school. You've been talking about law schools and you in the eighth grade and I was like, yeah, I know, but you know this, this, I just want to go do this and then see, and then she kind of walked out the room on me. So when my parents sent me the money to go for the law school Kaplan classes and everything to take the LSAT, I didn't. I didn't sign up for the classes, I just didn't take the courses. So when they called me to ask me about did I prepare for law school? Did I? Did I sign up? Did I sent any applications? I said nope. Now I did spend the money but I never applied. Okay, and it was probably the only time in my life when my mama stopped talking to me. She just handed my phone to my daddy and she said Jock Smith, mm-hmm. And she said some curse words that people wouldn't expect to say Chuck Smith, you get on this phone with this child. I told you not to let her major in something other than pre-law, and that was the start of me figuring my way to get to Stanford and all the things. So I always wanted to be a lawyer, okay.

Speaker 1: 12:08

So I just kind of took another route around it and, um, I'm a bit of a purist, mia, meaning if I want to design products or if I want to be an engineer, then I want to go. Be that I don't want to have be an engineering product design lawyer all on one project, right? Like I don't buy two-in-one conditioner shampoo. I want the shampoo, then I want the conditioner and then I want then at the end, I don't want the, yeah, I want the whole thing. You know what I mean. Then I want the edge control. Don't give me one. I'm like, nah, I want to get the whole thing. I want the appetizer, then the salad, then the entree, then the dessert. Don't give me a smoothie. That's supposed to give me all the nutrients. You know what I mean.

Speaker 1: 12:55

So, um, there were certain degrees in or certain academic opportunities that tried, like patent law, where people would say, oh, you could, you could go do both. No, you can't do both. No, you don't want to do both. You're a purist, right, I'm a purist and you don't really do both. As a patent attorney, you're just looking over engineering papers, but you don't get to do any engineering. You don't design anything. You don't have anything to do with how that product works. You're just making sure that somebody doesn't get sued. You have nothing to do with how the damn thing works. So I was like, yeah, I don't want to do that. So, basically, law was the very first thing I was supposed to do. Okay, so I ended up going full circle.

Speaker 1: 13:41

Uh, my father, uh, met Johnny Cochran when, when, um, johnny Cochran was on his first book tour this was after the OJ trial, his Journey to Justice book tour. They became very, very fast friends. So while I was at Stanford, they started the National Cochran Firm. Ok, and so when I went gillette to design toothbrushes, they started teasing me about having this corporate job, like you know, working for the man and and being, you know, behind bars. Because I got this nine to five and I'm wearing a lab coat, but I'm the only black woman in this global advanced research and design center for a Fortune 500 company. I think I'm expecting them to be proud. And they're clowning me. They're like calling me from private planes saying are you through? Are you through playing. They're waiting for you. Are you through playing with the little Lego sets and your buns and burners?

Speaker 3: 14:51

And you know, to lose a parent is a whole, nother animal Right, because, you know, I remember cleaning up the house and I was cleaning up something and I found I came across a bottle of perfume and I had never seen it. I'm like what is this? And I opened it up, let a bottle of perfume and I had never seen.

Speaker 3: 15:08

and I'm like what is this and I opened it up, I smell it, this little perfume, and it was crying for six days. That's your mama, that was mama perfume Mama in a bottle. Who put this damn bottle out here?

Speaker 1: 15:18

Anyway, I know y'all could have put that up.

Speaker 3: 15:20

Please somebody. But yeah, yeah, but we took care of my mom. My uncle stood in the gap for my grandmother, okay, and he actually became her real caregiver in terms of you know, he started getting a check, like, even now he's still a caregiver, with what he learned from the help of my grandmother, wow, so he's still a caregiver for older people.

Speaker 1: 15:46

So he turned it into a career path.

Speaker 3: 15:47

actually, he turned it into a career path because he had no job.

Speaker 1: 15:50

Well, come on now. Okay.

Speaker 3: 15:52

We all got that. He stayed at home so long. How long was it that people start commending him for being there? Oh, like, hey, man, you're doing so good with mama. I'm like that nigga never left, he ain't staying with mama. I'm like that nigga never left, he ain't stay with mama, he's just still here and she happens to now be sick. Yeah. Yeah, all right, I know we got some of those.

Speaker 1: 16:16

Well, that's where my parents met Talking trash at a political event, talking about voting. My mom always told me no, voting is insignificant. If it was insignificant and it didn't matter. They would have given us the right to vote from the beginning. And so even if you don't understand, jay, why you should vote, understand that the people in the power don't want you to. That's why you should do it. So think about, like when you're a kid and you're growing up and your parents say don't date that guy, don't date that girl, come home by midnight. What's the first thing you do? You're like forget that. If you say, come on by midnight, I'm trying to figure out immediately how at least to stay out to 1 am. It's the same psychology for my mom. At least. If they don't want us to vote, vote, then damn it, I'm fucking voting.

Speaker 1: 17:26

Every time Local, state, federal she was in it. Now, of course, it does not hurt that she was born and raised in Montgomery, alabama, and Martin Luther King Jr wasa personal mentor of hers. But I will tell you this All of her contemporaries, all of her cousins, everybody she grew up with, didn't keep that same fire in their belly, and I mean technically speaking. Dr King was there with them too, like I wasn't there. So I ain't trying to start nothing and I ain't trying to say who did this, who robbed Peter to pay Paul. But I grew up with him and I know some people didn't quite make it, y'all.

Speaker 1: 18:20

Zeddy gave her employees the day off to go vote. She's a private employer, a consultant, and let me tell you why. That's a big deal they had to negotiate. They asked off to get regular vacation, cause my mama believed that you should work. You got sick days and then you should come to work because if you ain't sick you should be at work. Vacation from what? What you vacationing from? You should be happy to have a job and if you ain't sick you should come to work. But for voting. She gave him a day off pay, and all she was waiting for him to do is to come back into work with a little sticker on that said I voted. That's how serious my mama was from day one about voting.

Speaker 1: 19:21

Funny story about voting with my mom. Okay, so back in the day, especially Montgomery Alabama, you got to realize when I was growing up we were still under all kinds of federal jurisdiction because of the crap that happened back in the 1940s, 50s, 60s, 70s, 80s. You know what For the crap that happened from uh, jesus and Moses, up till about 1997, we were still under federal rule. So uh, up till about 1997. We were still under federal rule. So how we voted and when we voted, and gerrymandering and red disping, all of that we had a lot of federal oversight.

Speaker 1: 20:11

So y'all know good and well my mama was not supposed to be walking up to the polls with a kid who couldn't vote, but she was so about that life and everybody at the polls knew her as she took my look behind, grabbed me by the hand and said come on in here. You're going to vote, don't talk, but I want you to see and know where it is. I want you to watch. Mama, check for my name. This is Alabama. We have nothing digital. We're nothing fancy. Ever you were writing your name or scratching your name off or bubbling something and coloring in something. You stand here and don't say nothing.

Speaker 1: 20:49

And she walked in and hilarious was to watch Zeddy go from badass I will negotiate with a drug kingpin and the devil to sweet and demure like she's about to hand somebody a piece of cake. So she was talking all this trash with me in the car. Now, you're not supposed to be in here. But don't say nothing. If you just don't talk and don't do nothing, don't touch nothing, don't, you can't bring no toy in here and don't look at nobody, you just hold my hand. She gets in.

Speaker 1: 21:23

Hi, how are you? Ooh, how's your mama? Yeah, oh, my God, it is hot outside, isn't it? I barely made it here, yeah, yeah, uh, huh, oh, should I get in this line off here? Oh well, thank you so much. Yeah, yeah, well, you know, I had to go pick my child up. I just I didn't have anybody else to go and get him. So is it okay if she just, she's just going to be just right, she's not going to make up? Oh, is that okay? Oh, thank you so much. Y'all okay. By the time she has cotton air, talk these people into talking about the weather and their kids and a piece of cake. I'm at 9, 11, 12, 13, all standing with her watching the whole process. That's my mama. And then she walks back out and she said did you see what I just did? You don't take no for an answer. If you're not trying to shoot nobody or kill nobody or steal nothing, you better not stand down.

Speaker 4: 22:31

When dad couldn't remember certain things and dad's personality began to change. My father was a very distinct man. His personality was very distinct Quiet man, a few words, but when he spoke you stopped. That man would drop a gem on you and you'd be like, and then he'd go right back to watching Andy.

Speaker 2: 22:49

Griffith, and you wasn't even there. I love those kind of people.

Speaker 4: 22:52

My dad would just be sitting there talking you know what love bug, and he would drop something and he'd go right back to watching. You know, texas Walker Ranger, that's right. Like he wasn't even there, you know, and your whole week just got shifted off that one phrase where daddy started being way more talkative. That was a sign to me, because my dad was not a chatterbox. He was not a chatterbox.

Speaker 1: 23:15

Listen, parents in our community, we're going to take just a sneak of a button on that. That is what comes with being a family caregiver when somebody has been locked in Because someone who didn't talk a lot, who now is just talking more, a doctor or someone in the hospital wouldn't say, well, what's wrong, that's not anything. But you're like, oh, what's wrong? That ain't my daddy.

Speaker 4: 23:38

That ain't my daddy, that's not how my daddy is. Me and my dad could sit in that Florida room. He'd be in his favorite Lazy Boy. I'd be sitting on the love seat and we'd be watching old shows like Gunsmoke, you know and you know. And it'd be silence. It was like me and my father had a relationship that we could have silent conversations. I always say that, Okay, that's scary Me and my father, we could literally be sitting.

Speaker 4: 24:01

I mean, like seriously, we could be sitting in a room watching something and we could laugh at the same time and he'd look at me and I look at him and like, hmm, you know what I'm saying. And it's like we knew, like that was crazy, or whatever. So when my father became a chatterbox and then it was to the point that he wasn't making sense, that was the like okay, wait, dad is talking way more and he's not making sense. That's when I knew the dementia was kicking in, when he would be like uh, uh, uh, call, call. I'm like call who, daddy, call the woman down the hall, your wife, you know. And you know it got to a point I literally made a joke about this that towards the end, my dad's dementia had gotten to the point that he thought I was his wife. I'm Lovebug, I'm Farrah, you know.

Speaker 1: 24:48

And he'd be like baby sweetie and I know he called my mama baby and sweetie.

Speaker 4: 24:59

he called me love book okay you know, I'm saying only pharaoh when he was like seriously, like mad at me, very, not happy, yeah, not happy, yeah, and so, but I remember you know how god is so good uh, when they brought my home, my dad home, when they said there was nothing more that they could do and we put him in hospice. And you know he had mentioned to me before he got sick that he wanted to be in his own home. He didn't want to be in nobody's hospital, and I promised him that we set up my brother's old bedroom, you know, for the hospice people and all that. And I remember that day I was at the hospital.

Speaker 4: 25:21

My dad was comatose. They had doped him up so much because of the pain and stuff. Yeah, when they walked him through that door that night I had my daddy. He was talking. He was so normal, it was freakish, I don't know what it was. He was like love, who won the game tonight. Love, I want some oatmeal and I'm like, because I'm like, I just left you in the hospital hours ago and you were comatose.

Speaker 2: 25:47

You were doped up and then you're coming through the door.

Speaker 4: 25:50

The guys are bringing them through Love. Hey, love, you were doped up and then you're coming through the door. The guys are bringing them through and I'll never forget. I said I thank god for this every day. I had not heard my daddy say he loved me in a while because of the dementia and everything. And I'll never forget I was in there and daddy was just talking and it's nice. It's nice because I had, you know, the room up, you know right, the hospital bed was in there.

Speaker 2: 26:10

Tv you know all.

Speaker 4: 26:11

You know all this stuff, Some stuff from home, like a blanket or something like that he was home.

Speaker 1: 26:15

He was home, he was an ideal childhood home.

Speaker 4: 26:17

He was just in my brother's room, that's right, and I remember I was talking to him. I said you was an oatmeal daddy. Yeah, I was an oatmeal. My dad eat oatmeal. I never heard about putting peanut butter.

Speaker 1: 26:32

My dad would put a scoop of peanut butter in his oatmeal.

Speaker 4: 26:34

Let me tell you something. My dad cooked some very strange things for us when we were growing up.

Speaker 5: 26:37

Okay, I'm going to try it and.

Speaker 4: 26:39

I remember saying okay, and I was walking out of the room and I said okay, papi, I'm going to go get it.

Speaker 1: 26:58

And I. I had heard those words for so long. I end each episode with a segment called the Snuggler. Yes, it's not sexual, I know. I just wanted to lower your expectations.

Speaker 2: 27:10

I saw it with the way you rubbed my knee, yeah, and I was like I just want to bring you back down what.

Speaker 5: 27:17

Let's snuggle up.

Speaker 1: 27:21

It is advice either to other caregivers, or you wish somebody would have told you. Looking back on it, and you say you know what Caregiving will be easier. If you go on and snuggle up to this fact or this approach, it'll just make it go.

Speaker 5: 27:43

Caregiving is going to always be easy if you just care right. You have to care and then the lifting will be easier. But if you look at it as if it's a chore, if you look at it if it's an obligation, if you look at it anything besides positive, you're going to feel overwhelmed and drained, because those things, those feelings, come naturally. But if you look at it as a care, as a blessing, as an opportunity, as a privilege, then it, the low, will be much lighter and people around you will feel it, and then your the transition, however it ultimately turns up, turns out will leave you feeling fulfilled versus feeling empty, overwhelmed and regretful. What bars, uh, this is, uh, the prince.

Speaker 1: 28:29

This is the Prince Rainmaker. For the end of the Snuggle.

Speaker 2: 28:34

Up, that was the Snuggler right there, that was good.

Speaker 2: 28:36

Number one Snuggle Up is related to caregiving, and it's something that I have been hit with personally lately in a caregiving journey which could be towards a parent and also towards other loved ones who might be confronting really difficult diagnoses. So you know, maybe you're already caring for your aging parent and your aging parent is relatively healthy, yet all of a sudden, the dementia diagnosis comes, or the cancer diagnosis comes or something else that's extremely serious and we'll we'll call it terminal. Um, for me, I think you know, you and I, we are women of action. Many women who are listening to this podcast are also women of action and we want to jump into service. We want to jump into helping, healing, hurting, whatever that is. We're going to do something because it's going to, it feels like the right thing to do, it feels what we need to do.

Speaker 2: 29:42

It's just an act of devotion and what I have learned through my company and through my personal journey with caregiving recently it's just to pause and to ask the question and to listen. Pause, I'm sorry that you have this diagnosis. How would you like me to support you in this time? Pause, how would you like to be supported? And in doing so, they may say just love me, just feed me ice cream and let me watch movies or give me the top of the line genetic research. And I want to talk to the top 10 physicians in this, and I want to talk to the top three surgeons in the area and I want a second and third opinion. Whatever it is that they're asking for, help them, but before you act, ask them what does it look like for me to support you and how do you want to be supported?

Speaker 1: 30:47

That's been Jen. That's it. We're going to button it up right there. That is it. Before you act, ask Woo Woo, that is so powerful. That is merch. Before you act, ask that is a good snuggle up. That is good in every relationship. That's good at work. That is good in every relationship. That's good at work. That is good in a romantic relationship. I don't know where that would be a negative mantra. I can't think of one at this time, thank you, thank you so very much. Let's snuggle up Number one. It's hard.

Speaker 1: 31:48

What made you decide in the first place to even consider being this deadbeat parent's caregiver? Something did. There's a whole lot of things in your life you never even thought about doing Like. If you're a teacher, you probably maybe never thought about being a sumo wrestler. Did you know? You're actually supposed to call it a small wrestler? It's not even sumo. We say sumo on the western side of the world, but in Japan, where it's from, they also say small. So okay, just take that for me. But there are a lot of things in this world that you've never considered being or doing, or eating or drinking. Something made you say I'll do it, even if it was with a little bit of hesitation. Peel that apart. What is it? Is it because you think it's the right thing to do? Is it because you have grown past the treatment that you received as a child? Or as a young adult, because you have gone through some spiritual awakening? Whatever the case is, don't let scars and scar tissue keep you from continuing on that pattern and journey of growth. Just don't let it happen. Don't turn back to the darkness, lean into whatever it is that made you consider being a caregiver for the person that was once your bully.

Speaker 1: 33:35

Hope you enjoyed the best of 2024 as much as we did bringing it to you. We hit some milestones 100 episodes featured on NPR Top three. What For HFC get out of here 2025? Better have a hyperbolic chamber? Better have compression shocks, all kind of stuff? It's going to need oxygen because we coming in hot. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.

Speaker 1: 34:10

And reminding y'all Patreon is open. It is open and ready for you, you, you, you and your mama too. We are loading up things, all things Zetty, all things podcast, all things caregiving behind the scenes, extra stuff J Smiles comedy is dropping with her own little collection within the Jace Mouse studio Patreon. Very, very soon. It'll be less than a month, but you want to go on and get in there because there's exclusives. That's kind of time sensitive to whoever is in there first. We've already had live broadcast for people who are already in and, uh, I'm gonna be honest, already had live broadcasts for people who are already in, and I'm going to be honest because of, you know, branding matters. So there's some stuff that I just can't say and do on the World Wide Web that I can do in the Patreon pantry Patreon pantry. So if you want to see and know and hear and experience more of what's happening between my ears, come to the J Smile studio, my Patreon pantry.