Parenting UP! Caregiving adventures with comedian J Smiles

Caregiving & Commerce: The Delicate Balance

• J Smiles • Season 5 • Episode 15

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Happy Women's History Month! 

On this episode, we had the pleasure of speaking with Mrs. Aisha Taylor Issah, who founded TheSistahShop.com, an e-commerce store featuring all Black Women Owned Businesses.  We filmed this episode a couple of weeks before she closed the doors of her brick-and-mortar store in Atlanta, Georgia, and had the chance to learn more about her caregiving journey. Tune in for laughs and real talk about caring for a parent living with Dementia while also balancing entrepreneurship, parenting, and more. 

Notes: 

• Early signs of dementia appeared as repetition, short-term memory loss, and difficulty with everyday tasks
• Family history of Alzheimer's helped with recognizing symptoms and accepting the diagnosis
• Routine plays a crucial role in managing Alzheimer's symptoms and improving quality of life
• Shared caregiving responsibilities between siblings makes the journey more manageable
• Finding the right living arrangement (memory care facility) dramatically improved both caregiver and patient wellbeing
• Establishing boundaries and giving yourself grace are essential for caregiver mental health
• Entrepreneurship can continue alongside caregiving with proper support systems
• Savoring good moments and finding humor helps balance the emotional weight of caregiving

Visit thesistahshop.com to shop Aisha's store today! 

Host:  @jsmilescomedy 

Producer:  @MiaHallTV  

Editor:  @annelisetv2624  

DP: Isaiah Joseph

#CaregivingJourney
#DementiaAwareness
#AlzheimersCare
#CaregiverSupport
#HumorInCaregiving
#endalz 
#memorycare 
 

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"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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Speaker 1:

Happy Women's History Month. We are celebrating equality, inclusion, diversity, everything fantastic and fabulous about being the majority of humans on this planet. What's up Parenting, up family? It's your girl, jay Smiles. We about to get into it. Right now, I'm here at the sister shop. We about to get into it. Right now, I'm here at the sister shop.

Speaker 2:

But then, when you dug a, little deeper, you learned that, yeah, we're the largest and fastest growing, but we are also the least funded, the least earning, the least supported, I'm like. So, yeah, y'all are praising the fact that we're starting all these businesses, but what are we doing to help these businesses grow? What are we doing to help these businesses scale?

Speaker 1:

And so that's why the focus has been on my position. We're about to have a phenomenal conversation on entrepreneurship, commerce and caregiving. Parenting Up Caregiving Adventures with Comedian J Smiles is the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama. For over a decade I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her and pushing Alzheimer's awareness on anyone and anything with a heartbeat. Spoiler alert this shit is heavy. That's why I started doing comedy. So be ready for the jokes.

Speaker 1:

Caregiver newbies, ogs and village members just willing to prop up a caregiver you are in the right place. Hi, this is Zeddy. I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast. Is that okay? Today's supporter shout out is from YouTube at my Lynn Smith one, six, eight, three. Being a caregiver often requires putting the needs of others above your own. You are demonstrating your love through your sacrifice. Exclamation point heart emoji. Thank you so much. Now, if you want to receive a supporter shout out, you know what to do. Leave a review on where. Yep, we really want you to do. Apple podcast, that's right. If not YouTube, ig, that'll work too. Thank you so much. Ig that'll work too. Thank you so much.

Speaker 1:

Caregiving and commerce the delicate balance. What's up? Family? You know I get excited when we are on site just like that. And boom today. And boom today. I have a sore roar of mine. So, yes, y'all gonna hate, because we might, oop, we might throw up the mid, we might set out a step, and y'all got to keep watching because you ain't got no choice. It's Women's History Month and my actual initiation date happens to be on International Women's Day, march 8th. Listen, there's a whole lot of love going on and we are in the sister shop. If you don't know about it, you're going to learn today. What's up, aisha? Hey, so-and-so, that thing sounds so good. It's like the first day I was able to say it baby.

Speaker 1:

Now let me tell y'all why we chose this phenomenal soror of mine for this episode. Yeah, she's a Delta Girl girl, so that makes it all extra juicy and fabulous for me. She's an entrepreneur, but this is the Parenting Up podcast, Y'all. Her mama has Alzheimer's. Did y'all know that?

Speaker 2:

How many of y'all knew that you?

Speaker 1:

may or may not have known that she is so busy in these entrepreneur streets selling stuff and helping y'all sell stuff. You may not not have known. Not only is she a mother, she is a caregiver, she is smack dab in that sandwich generation. She has a little one and she has a mom who has all sides. So we're about to dig into all of that, pull it apart and figure out how my sorrel holds it all together with them. Five glasses Y'all ready, nice.

Speaker 2:

I knew you was coming, so I had to find something in the crate. That's what we do.

Speaker 1:

That's what we do. Okay, we're going to get all into the sister shop. Currently we are sitting in her brick and mortar, but we are going all online, right? Yes, we're getting rid of this just so that she can give you all more options and get it to you to service it faster. So don't worry about figuring out what the address is. We're gonna go to the dot com. That's how you're gonna get to her. That's right. But now we're gonna ease it to your mom. Yeah, okay, parenting our podcast is around. How do we fortify ourselves as caregivers to be there for our loved ones? How long has your mom had alzheimer's?

Speaker 2:

so, you know, um, the progression, right right, doesn't start as Alzheimer's. So we actually began to see, you know, the early signs of dementia over 10 years ago, maybe a little longer than that, maybe 12 years ago, if not more. Unfortunately, the disease has been prevalent in my family, so my mom was not the first. You know, I certainly pay honor to and respect the memory of my aunt, my mom's sister and one of her best friends, who also, uh, had Alzheimer's and passed away in 2016. Um, my uncle, um, and also, many years ago, uh, suffered with Alzheimer's and passed away. Uh, so, um, our family wasn't unfamiliar with the disease. Unfortunately, um, unfortunately, um, but, yeah, my mom, um, has been dealing with it well over 10 to 12 years, if not more y'all heard, aunt, that's that Brooklyn coming out?

Speaker 1:

okay, so I just want yeah, period, we in the ATM right now, but you know what I mean, and that's good, because my dad is from Queens, what is it? No, my okay. They say and uh, but my grandmother is from New Orleans. Okay, she made me say aunt. Okay, she was like, what you're not gonna do is sound like these other people. Yeah, okay, you're gonna pronounce all of the syllables Right right Now. You said that 10 years ago you all saw some signs.

Speaker 1:

Let us know what that means, because a lot of times, people who are tuning into our podcast they're newbies and maybe no one in their family has ever had Alzheimer's and they don't know what the signs look like.

Speaker 2:

How can?

Speaker 1:

you tell the difference between hey, my mama is just, she had a bad night's sleep and just don't know what the signs look like? How can you tell the difference between a my mama is just she had a bad night's sleep and just can't find her purse versus this looks like what auntie had or what uncle had.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, Um, you know, uh, repeating things. Um, you know, beginning to have more repetition of, you know, phrases, statements, questions. Uh, with repetition of, you know, phrases, statements, questions. With our mom it was more of the short-term memory that went immediately. She can remember things from 20 years ago. She couldn't remember you know what happened an hour ago. So we began to see a lot of that. And then, you know, as it progresses, you get more into the frustration. You know, not really remembering how to do certain tasks. You know the mood changes. You know, thankfully, my sister and it's just the two of us is a mental therapist, licensed professional counselor, I should say, by trade and profession. So she is very knowledgeable, you know, of the clinical side of these types of diseases and we share in the caregiving task and I don't know what I would do without her.

Speaker 1:

So, ayana, I love you um but yes, so, and aisha, okay, that part that sounds like yes a song.

Speaker 2:

Well, you know um, so you know our parents. My sister was born in the 70s, I was born in the 80s so you know I'm named after um. The stevie wonder song um aisha. Isn't she lovely. That's about his daughter named aisha um, and I don't know where they got aiana from, but it means love or something like that but yes, we are.

Speaker 1:

Aiana mom was struggling with tasks. What are a few examples of the tasks? Were they like household tasks? Was she still working? Was she driving? Was she? In new york was she in atlanta, so she was in new york.

Speaker 2:

My mom was born in the South South Carolina but had been living in New York since she was 18 years old. You know, back in the day everybody. They graduated high school and they were out of there.

Speaker 2:

So she followed her older sisters and brothers and came to New York and started working. So she's has that good Southern roots, but very much a city girl, and so this day is still very much a city girl. We did eventually move her here to Georgia, but she it was. It was not without kicking and screaming. Ok, and so she, you know, she was not working because she had been with her company for over 39 years 39 and a half years to be exact and they, they laid off everyone, they eliminated the department and they were moving everyone to another state. My mom was like I'm not going. They eliminated the department and they were moving everyone to another state. My mom was like I'm not going.

Speaker 2:

So she actually had, just, you know, left that role, retired early from her job. She worked for MetLife Insurance Company processing death benefits for federal employees, ok, and then she did some low part time work here and there of time work here and there. And then that's when we began to see some of the challenges with the memory and the tasks and just remembering, you know how to do certain things around the house. You know, like where she put certain things. It was a lot of misplacing things, a lot of. I can't find this was after she retired.

Speaker 1:

Yes, it became more obvious to you.

Speaker 2:

Yes, yes, absolutely, there were were. No, she was perfectly fine while she was still working you know what?

Speaker 1:

I have seen that be the case so often? Well, I shouldn't say I've seen, I have heard, yes, the feedback when the routine changes.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, it seems to become more prevalent yes to family members or medical professors, which, in your case, with you and your sister, that's both family members and medical professors to say, hey, maybe like the routine for our LOs who may have some form of dementia is like duct tape together, and when you start to change, however they were going to work, or maybe the church or whoever uh, if their neighbors move or whatever they used to do on a daily basis those things, rather than saying, oh man, look at this new way I get to live, it's more like oh hell, what do I do now?

Speaker 2:

yeah that's crazy and the routine, definitely, even now, at this stage of her disease, which is advanced, routine still matters, right, like it's very important to keep a routine to help them, uh, to just be in the best space possible in terms of mood, in terms of, um, you know, just cognitive, you know function, uh. So, as much as possible, we try to keep a routine with her. We learned, you know, a lot of trial and error and we've learned that keeping a routine works best. Yeah.

Speaker 1:

So who told her hey, mama, you got it.

Speaker 2:

So you know it's so funny to see how the disease manifests itself differently in different people Right, differently in different people Right. So with my aunt, she never really embraced or accepted the fact that she had the disease, was very defensive and, you know, did not ever really accept it. My mom, when she began to notice it I guess because we had just gone through with her sister she was much more verbal about it and aware of it. So she would tell us Really.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, you know she would say Marie, let me tell you something. Shout out, marie. Okay, I'm hoping that the universe is sending love offerings from Jasoniles to Mama Marie. I have not heard of an example.

Speaker 2:

Listen, you need to take this show on the road to Marie, okay, because she a riot, okay, well listen, we going to come to Marie, we going to schedule with you, honey, let me tell you now, listen, we do travel, don't we team? Listen me and my team will travel. She's amazing.

Speaker 1:

Can we borrow your light? Yeah Okay, Bring it on. Bring it on Because no, seriously, that is uncommon. Yeah Okay For a person in the early stages to actually say to their children hey, something is happening. Yeah, it's not quite right.

Speaker 2:

I think I might be struggling with dementia and I mean she didn't necessarily call it that right, but she was definitely saying you know, I'm getting loose to forget things. Um one of her phrases she would say uh is my mind is going from me, you know things like that so, um, yeah, so she definitely definitely knew that it was happening and it made her very sad, of course, but she definitely made me sad the way you said it, yeah, but that's sweet, she's a sweet lady, and yeah.

Speaker 2:

So so that you know, I thank God for that actually, though, because I think it helped. I know it helped, you know us to begin her caregiving because there wasn't any resistance, right? Whereas with our aunt, on the other hand, there was resistance and it was just the way that she dealt with it, you know, of no fault of her own. Everybody deals with it in different ways.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely, absolutely so. With mom or your aunt or your uncle, with mom or your aunt or your uncle, are there stories or remembrances that you have that lean into a more humorous or lighthearted side? Here at the parenting up podcast, uh, jay smiles comedy we really hope to help. Especially newbie say listen, listen, yes, this shit is hard but there are bright spots where you can say you know what? That? That was kind of funny and that. And thank you to the universe for that moment where I could laugh, I could hug my elo and get through to the next moment. Yeah, absolutely. And that's why I said my mom is a riot, because even to this day, I mean, I could hug my LO and get through to the next one. Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2:

And that's why I said my mom is a riot, because even to this day, I mean, she's hilarious. You never know what's going to come out of her mouth at any moment. And I tell my sister all the time like we have to thank God for these moments right, because there are so many hard moments.

Speaker 2:

So when you do get a good moment, when you do get a funny moment, you have to thank God for it, and so there are many. I mean the beautiful thing about our family we're very close, knit back in Brooklyn. We all grew up in the same house, right? So my uncle had a three family home not the one that had Alzheimer's, but another uncle and so my my mom and dad and my sister and I were on the top floor, my aunt, who had Alzheimer's, on the second floor, the uncle who owned the home, was at the third floor, but then everybody came over at all different times, right? Um? And so we were very close. So we've got a lifetime from our childhood until we left that home just a few years ago.

Speaker 2:

Um, you know of memories of good times, um, and a lot of that character, a lot of that fun and liveliness is still in my mom. You know, if you put some music on, she gonna cut a rug and not think twice about it. She loves loves to dance, she loves music, she loves men. Her and my dad were married for 46 years or something like that, and so my dad passed away a couple of years ago, in 2023. And then that's when our caregiving really kicked it up a notch, because we had to, you know, take over 100%. You know we were always there helping, but really take over 100%. And so she still talks about him and you know things we don't want to hear you know and how we got here, and all of that.

Speaker 2:

And so, child, yeah, she a trip, she is a trip I'm telling you Please bring this show to a retailer, okay. Oh baby, I'm going to find it, I'm going to find it, I'm going to find it. Don't you worry about that. You're going to say stop texting me J.

Speaker 1:

Smiles. I said we're going to set this up later. Hey, what's up? Parented Up family. Guess what. Have you ever wanted to connect with other caregivers? You want to see more behind-the-scenes footage? Want to know what me and Zeddy are doing? I know you do All things. Jsmiles are finally ready for you, Even when I go live. Do it now with us on Patreon. Join us in the Patreon community. Catch everything we're doing. Visit Patreoncom forward. Slash JSmilesStudios with an S. What are? The best way for me to put this is for you and your sister. It's not all. It sounds like you all have divided the roles fairly well, or you manage caring for your mom well as a team. You don't always hear that how y'all do that.

Speaker 2:

So it has a lot to do with the way we were raised Okay, shout out to mama again and grandma. And we were just raised right like our family, and it runs through our family. So, while my sister and I, um, you know, are primarily responsible, really our whole family whenever asked or needed, or sometimes without being asked or needed, we'll, we'll pitch in and help. Uh, so we are very grateful and thankful. We were taught by our grandmothers you always stick together, you let nothing come between you, and that has stayed true to our family.

Speaker 2:

This business is here because of my family. I would not be able to do any of this work without my family. So I know a lot of people have that testimony that you know they can't work with family. That is not my testimony. I know that's that you know they can't work with family. That is not my testimony and I'm thankful. I thank God for that. So, yeah, so it was just it was. It was no question. You know, like when, when my parents were living in New York and I was in New York and then in New Jersey, you know I was closer, so I did most of the you know daily things that they needed or whatever, but anything I couldn't do, especially so we kind of all the medical stuff I get to my sister right.

Speaker 2:

So the appointments, the insurance questions, cause that's her area of expertise, you know any other regular tasks grocery shopping, whatever you know I would do, getting mommy's hair done, whatever Um, we just just did it, you know, didn't even think twice about it. Um, cause we all we got right and um, there's no reason why one of us should have to bear the burden alone, you know. And then when my parents, when we moved my parents down here at the time I was still living in New Jersey, so then they came more on my sister Right, and that ultimately really was the reason why I moved to Georgia so that I could help with my parents, because they were getting older.

Speaker 2:

My mom's condition was worsening, my dad began to have some health challenges and I saw it was just becoming a lot on my sister, so that was really why my family and I ended up moving here.

Speaker 1:

yeah, and have you regretted any of?

Speaker 2:

oh no, never, not at all, not at all. I'm. It was the best decision. Um, especially once my dad passed away. I couldn't imagine having to navigate that remotely, you know not being in the same place with my sister. You know, my sister and I are extremely close and for most of our lives we have lived separately. So when she graduated from high school, she went away to college and then she moved here. And then, a couple of years later, I graduated from high school, I went away to college and then I moved back to New York. So we were living separate more than we were living longer than we were living together. So this is the first time in our lives that we've been living close again. We're 10 minutes apart from each other. Yeah, girl, she'd be in my pantry all the time. I'd be cracking jokes at her. I'm like girl, what are you doing over here again? But that's just the fun jokes that we have. We see each other all the time. Now.

Speaker 1:

And it's a beautiful thing. Yeah, and we can, we can do this work together.

Speaker 2:

Um, she actually just started a caregiver group. Um it was on her heart um for several years, and so she started a a care of caregiver support group called take care.

Speaker 1:

Okay, how do you spell that? Uh take care.

Speaker 2:

T A K E C A R E take care. You can find a group on Facebook. Um, it's in its early stages he just launched it a couple of weeks ago but we're very excited about that and I'm happy to support her in that venture, the same way she has supported me in all of mine, Because she just really understands the weight of being a caregiver and wanted to provide some support for others.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, I love that. Ok, so you hear that. You hear that parenting up, family care, regular spelling and think tell her thank you for that. Okay, sometimes people are like but how you put a z and take care, the z is solid yeah, hell, yeah, it's solid it's so solid I ain't going to never find your page.

Speaker 2:

Baby Take care, Caregiver support community on Facebook. We'd love to have you join us.

Speaker 2:

And we'll be doing more in the months and years to come, but just getting started but really needed. We've already gotten a great response because there's so many out there and she, like you, mentioned the sandwich generation which we both are part of. Both of us have young children. My nephew is 12. My son is four, and then my, you know, we have, you know, our elders, and then there's so many other types of caregivers. Right, so not just Alzheimer's, that's the one we hear about the most, but it manifests in so many different ways. It absolutely does.

Speaker 1:

It absolutely does. A few more questions about your mom, just to see how that could assist some other people in our community about your mom, just to see how that could assist some other people in our community. Does your mom live with either you? Is she um in a facility?

Speaker 2:

so she is in a facility, okay, um, when my dad first passed away, um, we immediately, of course, moved her in with us. Okay, and she was splitting her time between the two of us. Um, because my son is smaller and needs more, you know, assistance with getting ready for school and that kind of thing. Uh, she would be with my sister during the week and then she would be with me on the weekends, and this is when that routine thing comes into play. Um, because, to put it simply, it was not working.

Speaker 2:

Um, my, the back and forth, the constantly switching of homes, of routines, of surroundings, did not do well for my mom. She began to have a lot of mood swings and just a lot of challenges, and it also became dangerous because she was trying to leave. You know, and you know, it just was. She became more combative. So we kept her with us as long as we could, as long as it was safe, as long it began to affect us, because she would literally be up all night, would not sleep. So we were not sleeping, we both had to work, and so we kept her home as long as we could. We, at that time we found, like a day center that she was able to go to, but it was just for a few hours a day. Then we tried to get someone to come into the home. Hot mess, totally unreliable. We just not show up, we'll get it, you know, that's all that's right.

Speaker 1:

That's another Try to be positive today.

Speaker 2:

That's part two. Oh, disgusting. It's all right, yeah. So ultimately we had to make a very difficult decision yes, To place her in a facility, and she's in a memory care facility. So not a nursing home, but similar Right In a memory care facility. We tried to find the best one that we could and that we could afford, and it was the best thing we could have ever done.

Speaker 1:

It was the best thing we could have ever done for her and for us.

Speaker 2:

She has adjusted so well, she and again, the routine, because they have a routine. It's a consistent surrounding for her. So a lot of the outbursts, the aggression that we were seeing when she was with us completely went away. Now it's very sporadic, if even at all very rare. So her mood is so much better. Her health is. She's doing well, you know, health-wise, no other major health conditions or anything like that. And then it also just gave us some peace, you know, to be able to get back to some sort of routine for ourselves too.

Speaker 1:

So yeah, peace is a big deal. I champion caregivers for finding what works best for you and your LO, whether the LO needs to be with a family member or in a facility, and then what type of facility, and then where and in which city and closest to which family member. All of that is very specific to the circumstances at hand and it warms my heart to hear that you all found something that works for everybody involved. You speaking about your mom being so much calmer.

Speaker 2:

Speaking about your mom being so much calmer. Do you know? Is there any medication they've given her that might be helping with this calmness? Yeah, you know she's on, and this is one of my sister questions.

Speaker 1:

Okay, all right, we should add her in.

Speaker 2:

So she is on. She's on medication, obviously, you know most patients, most elders are, but you know dementia, alzheimer's patients. So she is on medications and we work very closely with her medical team. You know we have an. She has an amazing doctor who is great with Emory. Dr Romelina absolutely love him. So he specializes in, you know, geriatric care and in, you know, the diseases of the brain and that kind of thing. So I think they help. And I do also think that and again, everybody's situation is so different. So I hate to give anyone a false hope but I believe that in my mom's situation, while there is no cure Right, I do believe that the medication may, for her, have slowed things down a bit, because there was a good span of years where there was no progression Right, where it was just kind of steady, kind of consistent, and we were like, ok, she has this, but she's still able to do a lot of things.

Speaker 2:

We're still, and it really wasn't until maybe I don't know, seven years in or eight years, and then we kind of saw a bit of a decline and then we would make some adjustments. Or eight years, and then we kind of saw a bit of a decline and then we would make some adjustments and you know so. Um, yes, she's on medication. I think it helps. Obviously it doesn't cure it, um, and they do have different medications and things like that too, but I think the real contributing factor is the routine love it, love it, yeah.

Speaker 1:

Well, we're about to wrap this up, okay, and this has been so fantastic but we have two points to make before we wrap this up. Yes, um, first, is we close everything out with a segment we call the snuggle up. Okay, right, and it's, uh, mostly something I made up, so I to go ahead and tell you that right, it's.

Speaker 1:

Basically the concept is as a caregiver. If you would go ahead and snuggle up to this idea, it will make your journey as a caregiver easier. What snuggle up would you give as a suggestion to people?

Speaker 2:

I think what we, what we talked about earlier, which was really savoring the good times right, like trying to find that glimmer of hope or joy even in this seemingly sad and depressing situation, and really holding on to those Right. So at any time, you know, my sister and I can be talking and just start cracking up about something mommy said last week or this morning. You know, sometimes we'll even text each other like girl, your mother, you will not believe what your mother just said, have just said, you know. So I think that that um really helps to balance out some of the um, the the mental and the emotional stress and strain that come along with, you know, with being a caregiver.

Speaker 2:

uh, it's just embracing and remembering the good times you know, and even I know again some situations different, so some people may not have seen times like that in a while. But if you can just go back, you know, to remember who they were, how they were um, the love and the joy that you shared um, and and hold on to that and and give yourself grace. Give yourself grace um. Give them grace, yes, right. Give them grace Um, because most people who need caregiving um did not sign up for it, and so what?

Speaker 1:

you got to say that 18 times give them grace and give yourself grace.

Speaker 2:

Yes.

Speaker 1:

What was your line number Fifty four? Ok, well, I'm the first part of that. Know how they can find and support the sister shop. Okay, wait, let me tell y'all why it's so great. She's going to tell y'all where to find it, but let me tell you why it's so great unique brands by women that are black and of color, and the stuff is funky and flat and fresh and great. And she owns the distribution channel. And now tell them where you can find it, okay.

Speaker 2:

That was good. Yes, so this is the shop, is your e-commerce destination where you can shop an exclusive collection of black women owned brands, and you can shop online at the sister shopcom, spelled just like that S I S T A H, so the sister shopcom. We ship all across the U? S. We hope to be adding international shipping soon, so stay tuned for that. S-i-s-t-a-h. So the sister shopcom. We ship all across the U? S. We hope to be adding international shipping soon, so stay tuned for that. But also, our store is a part of our larger brand called sisters in business, where we provide courses, coaching, community all about helping black women successfully start growing, scale their businesses. So be sure to join our mailing list so you can get updates on the different opportunities that we have available. Uh, for our sisters to win in their business, because when my sister wins, we all win you're supposed to do at the end.

Speaker 1:

Oh my bad, I was waiting for you to say we all win. Oh, dang, let's do it again, okay.

Speaker 2:

Okay, come on because when my sister wins, we all win, we all win Woo.

Speaker 1:

I love it. Thank you so much, sweetheart, thank you.

Speaker 2:

I can't wait to do this again. Yes, With Marie Honey I'm doing it with Marie first, and then I'm going to do it back with you. I'm going to show you some pictures and video of her. You're going to see what I'm talking about. She's too fast.

Speaker 1:

I am standing here in the sister shop. I love this journal. For those who are listening on the audio, it is a bold, yellow journal. I am blessed, beautiful enough, strong, confident, love, powerful. Ok, I don't even know if I feel all these words every day, but if I read them I'm like hell yeah, yes, I'm ill. And then look, ok, I'm a Capricorn. All right, I knew you were a Capricorn when dot dot dot. I don't even care what's on the inside of this card, the fact that it starts with I knew you were a Capricorn when dot dot dot. I don't even care what's on the inside of this card, the fact that it starts with I knew you were a Capricorn when let's be noted, is positive. And hell yeah, if you know I'm a Capricorn, I already like you. This store is so dope. There are hats. Okay, anyway, I'm gonna stop right now. Y'all this is the point Go to the sister shopcom. And sister is spelled S, I, s, t, a, H. Deuces Number one listen, if someone in your family has already been diagnosed with Alzheimer's just one person I need you to go ahead and think about what were their precursor activities.

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Were they forgetful? Did they hallucinate? Did they have a hard time driving home after work. Write those activities down. What were they presenting? That was different years before the diagnosis. Make a mental note, put it somewhere, because that could happen to you later. It could happen to someone else in the family, and there's no reason to have to reinvent the wheel. Perhaps your DNA is going to tell you later it could be you. Or maybe auntie, or maybe a cousin Listen y'all. Or maybe auntie, or maybe a cousin, listen y'all. We don't have to depend on the internet for everything. Sometimes, when you know more, do better.

Speaker 1:

Number two rebuke guilt. If you are giving care to anybody, whether it happens to be an LO or a neighbor, hey, you are doing the best you can. You dug in and you accepted responsibility. Don't bother at any point to then feel guilty about oh man, they used to live with me, now they're in a facility, or they're not living with me, they're living with a neighbor, or they're living with another family member. I bet I used to maybe be able to do more. No, you're doing the best you can. You know how, because that's all you got and that's okay. Do not find a way to feel guilty about the part that you're not doing. We don't have time for that. Whatever you're giving today or yesterday is enough. Tomorrow you might have more, but we don't even care about tomorrow yet. Just take care today.

Speaker 1:

Number three keep living. That's the biggest thing that I got from today's guest, my soror Aisha. She moved from another state. She is managing being her mom's caregiver. She opened a brick and mortar store. She is encouraging other entrepreneurs to live their dreams through brands, t-shirts, greeting cards, pajamas, furniture. She has a baby. Okay, not a baby, he's four. This is the point Keep living. Her mom would want her to keep living, but she's 10 toes down in both sides of the coin, so you can do it too. She's no different than you, and neither am I. Every day, you may not have the same amount of energy. That's cool. That's cool. Sometimes you need a nap. Other times you can run a marathon. Don't beat yourself up.