Parenting UP! Caregiving adventures with comedian J Smiles
Get engulfed in the intense journey of a caregiver who happens to be a comedian. J Smiles use of levity reveals the stress and rewards of caregiving interwoven with her own personal journey. Over 10 years ago, she was catapulted into caregiving overnight when the shock of her dad's death pushed her mom into Alzheimer's in the blink of an eye. A natural storyteller, her vivid descriptions and impressive recall will place you squarely in each moment of truth, at each fork in the road. She was a single, childless mechanical engineering, product designing, lawyer living a meticulously crafted international existence until she wasn't. The lifestyle shift was immediate. Starting from scratch, she painstakingly carved out useful knowledge and created a beneficial care plan for her mom. J Smiles will fly solo and have expert guests. You will get tips, tricks, trends and TRUTH. Alzheimer's is heavy, we don’t have to be. All caregivers are welcome to snuggle up, Parent Up!
Parenting UP! Caregiving adventures with comedian J Smiles
KEEN AGING: HOW MODERN ELDERS ARE REWRITING GROWING OLD
In today's episode, we had the great opportunity to speak with an amazing author who is changing the outlook on aging! Dr. Corinne Auman, a care management expert and author of "Keenagers: Telling a New Story About Aging," joins us to challenge the overwhelming negativity surrounding the aging process.
Drawing from both professional expertise and personal experience caring for family members with dementia and Parkinson's, Dr. Corinne reveals a profound truth: how we think about aging largely determines how our aging journey unfolds. Those with positive attitudes toward their later years tend to prepare comprehensively, not just financially but emotionally, socially, physically, and spiritually. Meanwhile, those dreading age-related decline often avoid planning altogether, inadvertently creating the very crises they fear.
The language we use matters deeply. When searching for words to describe aging positively while writing her book, Dr. Corinne discovered our vocabulary is dominated by negative terms. This linguistic limitation reflects and reinforces our cultural attitudes. "Keenagers"—older adults who are highly developed and maintain strong interests—offers a fresh alternative that celebrates continued engagement rather than withdrawal.
For caregivers, especially, this perspective shift is transformative. Whether you're currently caregiving or simply wanting to approach your future with greater intention, Dr. Corinne's insights will inspire you to write a new story about aging—one filled with purpose, possibility, and continued growth.
Have you started planning for your aging journey?
To learn more about Dr. Auman, visit corinneauman.com.
Host: J Smiles Comedy
Producer: Mia Hall
Editor: Annelise Udoye
#CaregivingJourney
#DementiaAwareness
#AlzheimersCare
#CaregiverSupport
#HumorInCaregiving
#EndAlz #keenagers #aging
#olderadults
"Alzheimer's is heavy but we ain't gotta be!"
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When I was trying to write a book about let's talk positively about aging. It is really really difficult to do that because so much of the language around aging is negative. If you just go Google synonyms for older, adult or for aging, the words are really terrible. We have a lot of negative words about aging and a few kind of neutral ones, but very few positive words. I mean about the best you get is like active ager or elder, but just there's not much just because you turn 50, 55, 60 and your body may be doing.
Speaker 2:maybe your body has limitations it didn't have when you were 30. But your body also can do some things and so I love this, the way you're marrying these two thoughts. It's like the problems and issues of one allow you to see the possibility and optimism in catching people before you need to hire my care management company. So okay, before you need, before you're in the crisis, you can start over here in this book and maybe set your own course, and the crisis might not ever happen.
Speaker 1:How you think about your own aging is going to shape how that aging journey goes for you. So what I see in my care management practice is people who are looking forward to growing older. They are thinking the best years are ahead of me, this is going to be great, I'm going to have a good time right. Those are the people who.
Speaker 2:Parenting Up caregiving adventures with comedian J Smiles is the intense journey of unexpectedly being fully responsible for my mama. For over a decade I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her and pushing Alzheimer's awareness on anyone and anything with a heartbeat. Spoiler alert this shit is heavy. That's why I started doing comedy. So be ready for the jokes. Caregiver newbies, ogs and village members just willing to prop up a caregiver. You are in the right place.
Speaker 2:Hi, this is Zeddy. I hope you enjoy my daughter's podcast. You double K Day supporter. Shout out Cassandra Wheeler. Ah Lord, three exclamation points. This was so good.
Speaker 2:I put it on while I'm working here at my desk from home, made me miss a meeting and everything. With the emoji with the girl with her hand all in her face. Y'all know what I'm talking about. Thank you, janae, for not only championing and journaling your journey with Zetty, but for creating this platform and sharing your story with the world and opening up an avenue for all caregivers to learn. Share love and laugh. Love and laugh. Appreciate you so much, sis. Congrats on your continued success With all kind of emoji kissy faces, hearts, the little heart extra with the fingers, praying hands, fist bumps and all the good jazz. Now, if you want to be the recipient of a supporter, shout out. You know what to do. Leave a review on Apple Podcasts, ig, youtube or join the text community. You know what it is Today's episode Keen Aging how Modern Elders Are Rewriting Growing Old, parenting Up Community.
Speaker 2:I know you all are like Jace Miles. How are you excited again? Well, I'm excited whenever I find good people doing the work, the hard work, of being a caregiver, and they have personal experience, professional experience and they want to share. It's not a lot of people who have the courage or the guts or the personality to want to share, and I have one such individual with me right now. Dr Corrine, how are you doing?
Speaker 1:I'm doing great today. How are you?
Speaker 2:I'm fantastic. Thank you for joining us.
Speaker 1:Yeah, thanks for having me.
Speaker 2:Now you have a multitude of caregiving hats. You've cared for people in your bloodline and you care for people in your legal line, some in-laws. I don't know which one you would prefer to choose. To start with you, let us know.
Speaker 1:Oh, the in-laws have since passed away, so they're they're done. I'm currently involved with my own parents and their care, so we can talk historical or we can talk current either one.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. I would like you to give us a little bit of both, because caring for an in-law has a different emotional and psychological vantage point than caring for one's parent typically, and once a caregiver, always a caregiver. So, to the extent that you're comfortable sharing what your capacity was for your in-laws, what involvement you had with their care and what diseases they were diagnosed with, Sure.
Speaker 1:So this is, in particular, my father-in-law who had dementia father-in-law who had dementia, and I'm in a little bit of a unique situation because I do run a company that is a care management agency, so I do have more experience in the field than a typical caregiver might have, and so that's a little bit.
Speaker 2:Hold on, dr Corrine, I'm going to look, I'm going to go ahead and spice that up. Honey, you have way more experience, not only the family caregivers been doctors and geriatricians because I've been in these mean streets for over 13 years, yeah and an individual who is running a care management company. The name is in the title and we're going to dig into that even a little bit more. So, but thank you for letting us know a little bit more about your expertise.
Speaker 1:And that really played into the situation. Because when we realized, you know kind of what was happening with my father-in-law, it was kind of this moment where everyone in the family just kind of turned and looked at me and said what are we? What are we going to do? Right, how are we going to find him? Cause he needed he was living alone, it was not safe, how are we going to find him Placement in a memory care?
Speaker 1:And so it really fell upon me, because of my background, to then try to find an appropriate memory care. He was going to qualify for Medicaid sorry, medicaid and get him into a community that would then accept Medicaid and then monitor him right, Go visit, make sure he's doing everything, getting everything he needed. He also had all his health care through the VA. So we would pick him up from the memory care and take him to the nearest VA in order to get his health care and then get him back.
Speaker 1:And if you've ever tried to transport someone who has dementia to a doctor's appointment and convince them that that's where they need to be and then get them back in the car to go back to the community, I mean. And so all of those things really fell upon me. But again I had an unfair advantage because I do run this agency and so not only do I have expertise in the field, but I also have team members who I can lean on and say, hey, can you help me get these things done? Because they are also experts in the field. So you know, that whole process, I think, really fell upon me because of my background, which maybe it would have anyway, as a daughter-in-law who lives close by right, we see that all the time.
Speaker 2:From what I've heard, dr Corrine, the live close by already puts you toward the top of the list, and when you have daughter or sister or anything that sounds female-ish, it seems that they look to us faster as well. How long had you been managing or in the world of care management? Has that been your career, the majority of your adult life, or how did you get involved with that?
Speaker 1:Well, so I started my company in 2012. So we've been doing this now 13 or so years and prior to that my background is in gerontology, so it is in working in the aging world in the field. But it was really like as a college professor, teaching about older adults and teaching about, you know what we know about growing older and working with college students who want to learn about that sort of thing. So when I made, the transition from here is theory and research into here is everyday, practical. Let's go out and work in this field. It's really two different worlds. Yes, it is, yeah, really, really different.
Speaker 1:So I always had an interest in working with older adults, and part of that came from living next door to my grandparents growing up and then also watching my mom and her sister become caregivers for their mother.
Speaker 1:My grandfather passed away fairly suddenly and they realized almost overnight that their mother could not be left alone because he had been doing such a good job of protecting her that my mom and her sister really didn't realize that her dementia was as bad as it was, and so she moved in with us very quickly after my grandfather passed, and that was when I was in eighth grade and she passed away when I was a junior in college. So from eighth grade till I was a junior in college my mom and her sister were managing my grandmother's care and that made a real impression on me because it was hard me because it was hard, they made mistakes. And I just remember thinking at that time why isn't there somebody who helps you with this Right, like, why can't you just pick up the phone and call somebody and they tell you like here are your options for home care or here's where you go for this kind of care? And that would have made it so much better.
Speaker 2:And I think that kind of planted the seed for me to then go on middle school, high school, college, when normally, if you let mainstream tell it, you're just supposed to be caring about your friends or going to a frat party or getting to a football game or whatever it is that they believe that adolescents do. Yet and still, you were being impacted and absorbing what was happening in your immediate family, so much so you were like I'm going to do something about it. So while that was a difficult time, then there are people like me who have the benefit of you joining this career field from a place of passion and purpose, and I can tell you that has made all the difference for me as a caregiver for my mom. You can tell when someone is doing a job, because they happen to have a skillset or talents that kind of leaned into it versus that plus. This is personal, and that's what I'm hearing from you right now, dr Corrine. This entire world of the aging population is very personal for you.
Speaker 1:Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 2:Yep, I love it. So what was your? So actually, when I look back at it, if I take it back, well then you know you've been a caregiver since the eighth grade maybe, like if your grandmother moved in, I'm certain, while you weren't the primary caregiver, you were a secondary or a tertiary caregiver, because I'm sure there were moments where your mom or your aunt or others in your family said, hey, can you do this? So we need you to do this, or pitch in or things in that way. And you became aware, like you've already shared with us, of what the needs were and how many gaps there were in the system that you thought should exist by. Some adult ought to be able to fix this. But back to your father-in-law. What was his dementia?
Speaker 1:You know, we never got a clear answer about that. He was fairly young, he was in his early 60s, he'd been in the Vietnam War and had been exposed to like Agent Orange and things like that during that time, and so we don't. We assume it's something to do with that because it didn't really run in his family or anything, but we don't really know. We never pursued getting a clear diagnosis. It was just clear he had dementia.
Speaker 2:I got you, I understand, and what was your? You ran through a litany of items that you had to do and I got to tell you my head and my heart were both spinning. I was cheering you on and I was happy for your family members and I was also exhausted at the thought of, you know, identifying all of those resources and then scheduling and then the execution and then the follow up. That is, you can't just Google that stuff. You know you can't. You can't, you can't go to Yahoo, you can't. There's no singular source. Well, obviously, can't, you can't. You can't go to Yahoo, you can't. There's no singular source. Well, obviously now and we will talk about this more at the end but they can call your company, but other than finding a company like yours or a consultant, there's no specific journey to do it. So I, if I was in your family, I would have also turned to you and looked and said, okay, so now what do we do?
Speaker 1:It's fair. It was a fair thing to have happen, yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah. Do you feel that it was tougher on you because of the emotional component as well as the professional component? Or did you just kind of compartmentalize and say I just got to check these boxes and get this paperwork in for your father-in-law? I?
Speaker 1:think I compartmentalized for the most part. You know, I think there might've been a few moments in my marriage where where I, my husband, might have gotten the brunt of. You know, this is not my parent and all the things that, and and to be fair, you know it's not his fault that he doesn't know the things I know. I mean, of course he's going to be looking at you know, to me, for those answers, those answers. But again, I don't. You don't know how different that would be if I didn't have my expertise, because we see so many adult daughters and sisters and daughters-in-law who do get put in that position. I mean, most of my phone calls are from people in those positions in a family and so, but no, I think that just every once in a while there was just sort of this. I think that just every once in a while there was just sort of this. You know, right, you know.
Speaker 2:Your dad. There's a there should be some separation here, a dotted line, and not this solid line pointing directly at me. Right, I get it, I follow what you're saying. And now you? You said, both of your in-laws have passed on. They have, yes, and, but you're continuing in your role of caregiving now for your parents.
Speaker 1:Sure, and it's more so. My dad has Parkinson's and is doing well but, you know, is needing more things as time goes on. I'll tell you a funny story that's one of the funny stories I have but my mom is his primary caregiver and primary, you know, help around the house and she's doing really well, but it's more the kind of the tertiary right, the supporting right, Make. You know, she calls and, you know, tells me things that are going on and I maybe give her some feedback or advice of things we might try or things we might do differently, which I think is helpful most of the time. But there's also this sort of unwritten rule that if somebody changed your diaper, they don't have to listen to you, they don't have to listen to you. So the there there is always this sort of you know they listen, but do they listen? They listen.
Speaker 2:But will they actually take the advice? It's a question Not in my family. Everyone who changed my diaper or blew my nose with a q-tip or whatever that stuff is, yeah, they don't listen at all, dr corinne. So I, I do. I'm far, I'm picking up what you're putting down um a bit of a helpful. Um. One thing that has been very helpful to many people in the parenting up community is knowing symptoms or signs. Do you recall what your father was exhibiting that led y'all to say, hey, something's not quite right? You know, prior to his diagnosis, that even made you say dad needs to go to the doctor. Were you involved in that process?
Speaker 1:I was only involved in it again, kind of on the outside, in terms of my mom kind of telling me what was happening, the changes that were that they were seeing. And it's funny now looking back. You know, one of the first things you see or notice with a lot of people who eventually develop Parkinson's is they start to kind of lose facial expressions. And now I can go back and kind of look at some of the pictures from you know Thanksgiving, when my son was a year old, and go, oh yeah, like I can see that like my dad he doesn't smile anymore, like he wasn't able to have those same sorts of or they think they're smiling, but they're they're not, like their face doesn't really show it. And so I can go back now and see some of those signs. But did I notice them at the time? Not necessarily.
Speaker 1:And and it you know my dad is proud and maybe a little stubborn and I think you know it had to different things. We think somehow not knowing is better than knowing right, and we see this so much with dementia, where people have they know something is wrong. And that should be the moment that we go and we get tested and we get a diagnosis so we can get on the medication to slow things down and we can prepare and do all the things. But that is exactly opposite of how people actually react, which is they know something's wrong and they do not want to go to the doctor. They do not want to know. They it's like if they never get a diagnosis, that means it's not really happening.
Speaker 2:I have. I have heard the same thing and witnessed the same thing. So much, dr Corrine, and I'm going to ask you this, because you are a professional in this space Do you think it leans more from the well, I'm going to die of something anyway, and so just if I don't know about it, then I won't be paranoid or have anxiety? Just if I don't know about it, then I won't be paranoid or have anxiety? Or is it possibly because, since the dementia-related diseases do not have a cure and they can't fix it, whereas, let's say, if you thought you were having problems with your heart or your cholesterol or your kidneys or diabetes, and there have been treatments and or cures, people may be more likely to go to the doctor for that? Do you feel like that has played a role in any of these lack of efforts to go to the doctor?
Speaker 1:I actually think it's something different. Not one of the things you mentioned. I think it is fear of loss of control. So if I get diagnosed with some form of dementia, my kids are going to try to take over my life, my kids are going to try to take over my finances, they're going to try to move me into a home. I'm so. I really think it comes from that internal fear that, as that, I'm going to lose my mind or I've already lost it, and that sort of fear of losing control I think is a huge driver of not wanting to get an official diagnosis.
Speaker 2:That makes a lot of sense in the world. I never thought about that, but yeah, that tracks. That really tracks. Hey, what's up? Parented Up family. Guess what. Have you ever wanted to connect with other caregivers? You want to see more behind-the-scenes footage? Want to know what me and Zeddy are doing? I know you do All things. Jsmiles are finally ready for you, even when I go live. Do it now with us on Patreon. Join us in the Patreon community. Catch everything we're doing. Visit patreoncom forward. Slash JilesStudios with an S. Well, I see, for those of you who are listening and not watching this podcast, or shall I say vodcast our video, I see behind you, dr Corrine, a phenomenal book cover An Owl on a Tree and the title is Teenagers with a K, telling a New Story About Aging. And you wrote it. I did Because some people have books behind them, great books that they love, but it doesn not. They doesn't mean they're the author. This is your book. Tell us about teenagers.
Speaker 1:Yeah, so I'm going to. I'm going to make a little juxtaposition for you. So I work in care management, where I'm dealing with people who are often in crisis around aging, right, and I've written this book where I'm trying to get people to change their views on aging. Instead of thinking of it in a negative way, let's think about it in a positive way. And people kind of look at these two things and they go this makes no sense, right? Because you're dealing with people who are in like the nitty gritty and maybe not so great part sometimes, and then you've written this book. That's like, hey, let's tell a new story. But so I want to explain where that comes from, that the way you think about your own aging and the journey that's in front of you really shapes and impacts how well that journey is going to go.
Speaker 2:So, for example, Wait, wait, dr C, that's so powerful I'm going to need you to say that again. That is the well. However you want. It doesn't have to be exact, but that is like grasping the sun and putting it in my pocket. Please, however you want to word it, do your best. Rendition of a rewind.
Speaker 1:Okay. So how you think about your own aging is going to shape how that aging journey goes for you. So what I see in my care management practice is people who are looking forward to growing older. They are thinking the best years are ahead of me, this is going to be great, I'm going to have a good time right. Those are the people who plan and prepare. They do all their documents, they talk to their family, they're planning financially for their future, but they're also planning for their spiritual life, their physical life, their intellectual life, their emotional life and their social life. In all these retirement I'm going to put retirement in quotes retirement years ahead of them. They're looking, they're going. This is going to be good, I can't wait, let's do it. And they're making a plan.
Speaker 1:The people who have a negative outlook about their aging, like they're going oh man, this is going to be awful. This is, it is all downhill from here. This sucks. Aging sucks. You know the whole thing. Those are the people who kind of bury their head in the sand and they don't plan and they don't prepare. And because of that lack of planning and preparation guess what they don't plan it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy of this is going to suck and guess what it does.
Speaker 1:So the book is really about let's tell a new story, like, instead of this story that our culture tells us all the time about aging is terrible and you can never show that you're aging, you can never age, you know it's all downhill. Let's tell a new story like not a Pollyanna, everything's perfect, but a story that's true. And what's true is that, yeah, we're all going to have health issues there's probably no getting away from that but it's also a time in our lives when we can reinvent ourselves. We can retire from one career, start something completely new, we may become caregivers, we may become grandparents and caregiving for our grandchildren, we may volunteer. There's just all kinds of possibilities for what this time in your life can be if you are planning and preparing for it in a way to make it amazing rather than just going boy.
Speaker 1:I just hope this doesn't suck, and so I'm very passionate about that idea that we can shape our own journey. And the book is filled with interviews with people who are doing just that. So they're not some sort of super senior, they're not out of the ordinary. They're people with real lives and real problems. But they're also starting new nonprofits and running companies and caregiving and just doing all sorts of things that our traditional stereotypes about aging don't tell us about. They don't tell us that those things are even possibilities.
Speaker 2:Yeah, that is so powerful. It sounds like they've chosen to embrace aging Like it's going to happen, and I would rather lean into it and do it as much as I can on my own terms, versus to your point put my head in the skate, put my head in the sand, act like it's not going to happen, right, because think about it from when we are teenagers. I love the teenagers with the K. I want to. I want to ask you in a second about, about the title. I have a. I have insight on what I think, but I want to. I want to hear about you with the title.
Speaker 2:But we there's no way that you know when you're 10 years old if your teenage years or your 20s are going to suck or not, just because everybody's saying it's going to be so great when you can drive a car, or you're 21, you can get in the club or you can, you know, get your own insurance and get a job and live on your own. They say it's going to be great, right, but hey, newsflash, it's not great for everybody. I have family members and very close friends where 15 to 25 was the worst decade of their life. Various things happened that they couldn't have seen. They couldn't control it and it just sucked. But they did have plans for something very different and to the point you were making. They were intentional about what they thought they wanted to do.
Speaker 2:So, just because you turn 50, 55, 60, and your body may may be do maybe your body has limitations it didn't have when you were 30. But your body also can do some things. The problems and issues of one allow you to see the possibility and optimism in catching people before you need to hire my care management company. So, okay, before you need you, before you end the crisis, you can start over here in this book and maybe set your own course. And the crisis might not ever happen, right? Maybe you don't even get to a crisis, right? I love it. So I'll take the title teenagers. How'd you come up with that?
Speaker 1:So it's not my original word in the sense that when I was trying to write a book about let's talk positively about aging, it is really really difficult to do that because so much of the language around aging is negative. If you just go Google synonyms for older, adult or for aging, the words are really terrible. We have a lot of negative words about aging and a few kind of neutral ones, but very few positive words. I mean about. The best you get is like active ager or elder, but just there's not much. And language really shapes our perception of things. How we talk about something shapes how we see it in our society and in our own minds.
Speaker 1:And so I was trying to come up with a word.
Speaker 1:Right, I got to have a positive way to talk about older people, and a friend of mine, her mom, said oh, we like to be called keenagers because the definition of keen is highly developed or having a strong interest in something. And I think that's a perfect description of older adults today. They are highly developed, right, and they do have keen interests, right, they're not ready to go sit on the front porch in a rocking chair and withdraw from life. They are still wanting to contribute, to do things, to start a new business, to volunteer, to do all kinds of stuff into their 60s and 70s, which are stereotypes about aging. Don't tell us that's what you're supposed to go do or that that's what people do in general. So a new word to describe older adulthood, so that we can talk about it in a new way, because it's really different than it used to be for our parents and grandparents, and it's different in that we have to have if we're going to think about aging in a positive way, we have to have positive words.
Speaker 2:I am. So I am so hopeful and in a very positive way, you have filled me with thoughts and ideas around, right, why can't we make up new words, like we can make up new words, new concepts? Because if we don't do it, who will do it? And it's up to those of us in this community Caregivers primarily family caregivers to keep pushing the narrative and keep the gas pedal to the metal, so to speak, to make sure that adequate, appropriate and sustainable change occurs. And attitude is everything, like what you're saying.
Speaker 2:If we don't have a positive attitude around what aging is, then how can we really even show up really good for our carees, show up good for ourselves to maybe not end up needing as much care, like for myself, my goal is okay, I may need a caregiver at some point in my life, right, but I would like to minimize how much they need to do and I would hope not to get dementia.
Speaker 2:I am trying because I know more about it and I am trying to do things that will skew me away from that umbrella of diseases. So that is really powerful what you took from what you've been exposed to, right, Many of us are exposed to things and it can more smash us and make us depressed or make us jaded and instead you found innovation, and congratulations and cheers to that. This has been such a wonderful conversation with you, dr Corinne. I appreciate you being with us here on the Parenting Up podcast. I appreciate the conversation on the Parenting Up podcast. I appreciate the conversation. I want you to let all of the community know where they can find you, where they can find the book, where they can interact with you if they want to engage with you and your care management services.
Speaker 1:Sure, so the best place to find me is just my website, which is my name, corinneallmancom, and there's links to the book there and to media, and you can contact me through that site as well. If you're looking for like care management services, if you're in North Carolina I'm in North Carolina then I would be happy to talk to you and my company is Choice Care Navigators. And I would be happy to talk to you and my company is Choice Care Navigators, but if you're not in North Carolina, probably the best thing to do would be go to our professional website, our professional network, and that would be aginglifecareorg, and there they have a search button on there where you can search by zip code to find professional care managers in your area. And that's what you really want, because you want somebody who knows the local resources, who knows all the rules and different things in your state, and so I would recommend that.
Speaker 2:That is. I love that organization. I am so happy that you said it and that is a resource that you also believe in and champion. I have given several speeches for various colleagues of yours and it's such a comprehensive organization. It's a lot of y'all know a lot of stuff. I mean there's so many different layers of expertise that it's really it's fascinating to see so many people in the medical field get along. There's not a lot of organizations where you have people from disparate places of expertise and then they actually get along in this one organization to institute change in the community. So thank you all for that.
Speaker 1:I think that happens because almost you know if you're in that organization, you're in it because you are passionate about helping people get through the system, get through caring for their loved ones, and you know you can be a gerontologist, you can be a nurse, you can be a social worker, you can be coming from a lot of different backgrounds, but we all have the same goal.
Speaker 2:Get through the system.
Speaker 1:Get through the system With some sanity, we hope.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, Because if you get through it does help, if you're still sane. Otherwise, you know what Doc, you won't even know if you threw it or not. I think that's a perfect button. Ending point. Thank you so very much. You are welcome back anytime. This is so fantastic, and next time I'm in North Carolina I'm going to try to look you up.
Speaker 1:Okay, that'd be great.
Speaker 2:Okay, the Snuggle Ups. Number one what is your plan for aging? I'm talking to you, caregivers Okay, what is your plan for aging? I'm talking to you, caregivers. Okay, you're already taking care of a person where they're not independent anymore. Has that made you stop and think? What the hell do I want my aging to look like? Pretty much.
Speaker 2:I've already started thinking. You know what? When I hit 65, I got to live near the water Something A lake, a stream, the ocean, not a pond, and not a swimming pool, because that keeps my mind right, it keeps my soul good. I need to have sunshine most of the days of the year. These are things that right now it's a preference, but I believe as I age, it will become that much more important to keep me psychologically in the middle of the road. I've also been thinking about what kind of activities can I dive into more right now so that as I get older, they can still age with me, like yoga, meditation, swimming. If you're in the MMA, that's cool, but I don't know how well MMA ages. I don't know about wrestling and aging, but golf, yeah, because you can get in the cart and you can play a three-hole course, you know. Think about activities like that so you can stay engaged with life, but your body's limitations won't limit you from the activity. So I was so happy to hear dr corinrine deposit those kind of questions and I know for a fact I'm going to tell my nieces, who will likely be in charge of me as I get older, what the hell I consider to be acceptable living arrangements Like Hefas listen here. I got to have this kind of environment and I don't want only girl nurses and caregivers. I'm gonna need a dude that's younger than me and fine anyway.
Speaker 2:Number two how do you support a carry? That's an in-law. Y'all this is real. Okay, I've never been married but lord knows, I have watched the struggles and the trials and the tribulations. This is the bottom line. Your mama ain't his mama. I need all y'all people that got partners and husbands and wives and whatever you want to call it, where you think y'all supposed to be doing life together for life, Doing life together for life. You feel what I'm saying. Your parent ain't their parent.
Speaker 2:Please don't put that kind of expectation on them, unless that person that you are married to, engaged to or living with life, partner thing, unless they look you in the face, and not right during the middle of sex either, unless they look you in the face when they are sober, just had a cup of coffee, it's the top of the day. They say, hey, you know what? I want you to give me all the responsibilities for your mama, just like we're siblings. Give me all the responsibilities for your mama, just like we're siblings. Unless they say that, no, don't place that kind of responsibility. It's hard enough that they're having to watch you change and struggle under the pressure of caring for your parents, and if they're loving and pitch in to assist you, awesome. Well, let's be reasonable with what people signed up for when they decide to marry us. This is sickness and health for your ass, not your daddy's. This is sickness and health for your ass, not your daddy's.
Speaker 2:Number three I need y'all to go to quick, fast and in a hurry. Don't walk, don't pause, don't scroll. Run to aginglifecareorg. Thank me later. You're welcome in advance. They have so many resources that we ain't never even heard of or thought about needing. It's kind of like if you're a young girl and you've never had a menstrual cycle. You don't even have any idea what you're going to need. You don't know what to ask for because you don't know what this thing is going to do to you. That is what the AgingLifeCareorg organization is about.
Speaker 2:I've had the opportunity to speak with a number of their chapters throughout the United States, but they have all of the expertise that we need to help us assist our loved ones in aging. You can be healthy in aging and these folks can assist you in that, and they can assist you when you are not healthy. What in the whole hell Yo get at them? Holler at them. It's better to create your relationships and identify who you want your care partners to be.
Speaker 2:Before it's 9-1-1 and your liver is hanging out of your knee, you feel what I'm saying? Nice, thank you for tuning in. It's 9-1-1, and your liver is hanging out of your knee. You feel what I'm saying? All right, thank you for tuning in. I mean really, really, really. Thank you so very much for tuning in. Whether you're watching this on YouTube or if you're listening on your favorite podcast audio platform. Either way, wherever you are, subscribe, come back. That's the way you gonna know when we do something next. Y'all know how it is. I'm Jay Smiles. I might just drop something hot in the middle of the night.