From Then Until Now: A Personal Moment on my Caregiving and Comedy Journey

A single shock can reorder a life. When my father passed suddenly and my mother’s Alzheimer’s deepened, I became the point person for everything. My pivot—raw, messy, and unplanned—sparked a mission: use comedy to have a positive outlet during those trying times. In this special mini episode, you'll hear me as I celebrate five years of our caregiver-centered podcast, ten years of stand-up, and my mom’s 77th lap around the sun, while pulling back the curtain on how humor, faith, and community turned chaos into a living blueprint for care.

I share how the pandemic forced me off the stage and into the mic, and how saying out loud “my mom has Alzheimer’s” changed the room. We talk about legacy—the grandparents who seeded my skits, the cousin who still lights up the room at ninety-three—and why I took my family name to the stage to honor where I come from. 

Caregiving touches almost everyone, whether you’re in it now, still healing, or propping up a friend. That’s why we lean into practical solidarity—financial vigilance after loss, late-night logistics, and the radical act of laughing on the worst days.

Subscribe, share this with your village, and leave a review with one lesson caregiving taught you—someone reading it will need exactly that today.

Executive Producer: J Smiles Comedy

Producer & Editor: Mia Hall 

Chapters

• 0:00 Bonus Weekend And Milestones
• 0:30 Why Comedy Became A Lifeline
• 2:40 Sudden Loss And Caregiving Shock
• 3:30 Pandemic, Purpose, And Podcast Launch
• 4:10 Owning The Alzheimer’s Story
• 4:30 Five Years Supporting Caregivers
• 5:10 Community, Sponsors, And Intentional Spaces
• 7:20 Family Roots And Legacy
• 9:20 Crew Dreams And Bigger Visions
• 11:40 Gratitude Roll Call And Support Network
• 14:00 From Chaos To Champion
• 15:10 Speaking, Comedy, And Future Projects
• 16:20 Love, Loss, And Collective Strength

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:02

I hope you enjoyed this bonus episode. So why not do a little extra? Recently, me and Zeddy threw a three-day anniversary weekend.

SPEAKER_01: 0:17

Celebrating five years of parenting up. Ten years of Jay Smiles comedy.

SPEAKER_00: 0:22

And Zaddy giving 77 years around the sun. We love you. Please enjoy parenting up. Caregiving adventures with comedian Jay Smiles is the intense journey of unexpected character being fully responsible for my mama. For over a decade, I've been chipping away at the unknown, advocating for her, and pushing all kinds of awareness over anyone in any face with a heart.

SPEAKER_01: 0:54

That's why I started comedy. Don't be ready for the job.

SPEAKER_00: 0:58

Caregivers newborn and games and village members just willing to prop up with caregivers. You are in the right place.

SPEAKER_01: 1:57

I who did not get an invitation. However, this weekend, really for me and my heart represented my very thought I would be in this place. Many of you have said, but Jay, you've been funny. I'm like, yeah, but make a second cook, don't open a restaurant. Take care of family reunion and Sunday. You know what I mean? So Lucy, none of y'all said, with all that law engineering and progress out to go get on some of y'all didn't. Y'all fault too. Y'all fault too. So but uh, you know, they say you make a plan and then God will tell you what your life is. So my father passed away very abruptly on the couch within my mom found him, within 90 days. He had two points of the bidding. Within six months, I was wanting both of their firms trying to figure out why my daddy died, how to make my mom not die. And how not to let nobody take all our money. All everything they had worked for. I wanted to make sure that at a minimum I didn't lose money. I was hurting. So I wasn't playing on Friday night when I said Remy Mars 1738 cognac. So, and then COVID made me start performing comedy. And the Holy Spirit said, but what you go do is make a podcast with caregivers, ask Jake Smiles, and you're gonna tell your caregiver story. I thought Holy Spirit no, Holy Spirit is a boo. Body bow, body fold, body go, body fold. So I started parenting up podcasts. Believe it or not, until the parenting up podcasts, I never admitted that Jay Smiles on stage on inner speech. Jay Smiles got a mama that got Alzheimer's, and Jay Smiles' daddy is in heaven. The pandemic made that come out. And so now we are at 10 years of stand-up comedy.

SPEAKER_02: 4:14

Woo!

SPEAKER_01: 4:21

Five years of the podcast. And the podcast is centered around supporting family caregivers. I'm not a scientist that can get rid of the disease, but I can show them a hug and lock arms, and we can laugh about that shit till we figure it out. Ask family caregivers. Everybody I know is either currently a family caregiver, they were a family caregiver, or they're supporting a family caregiver. That means this thing is a it's a well, the epidemic. So I thank y'all for riding with me on this journey. I didn't know when it I still know where all the journeys were, but we are going for bigger and better and brighter. I have to acknowledge my mama's favorite first cousin over here. She's the star of the family. She is 93 years old. And look and watch this. Keep your man away from her. She's not gonna want to take him, but he's gonna want to be with her. If she came from New Jersey, uh just to be here to celebrate with me and Zay. That's a really good thing. But tell him who your favorite son before he was the first person to make us whatever she become. He didn't make it into Friday night. But my grandfather and my grandfather, my mama's parents, Glove and MD, affectionates. Um they were the beginning of me doing skits, for sure. My name is Jay Smiles in comedy because I'm a smiley. My mama's a smiley. I figured that was the best way to owe to my lineage. Um what I want you all hopefully to take from this weekend is life might give you lemons. Do more than make lemonade, punch life back. That's right. If you want lemonade, cool. But you could also just punch it like life. I ain't doing that. I ain't doing my back. I hope you all have met some new family members because I cannot stress enough. If you were here, it was very intentional. I all the venues were black old, all the decaterers, bartenders, and I wanted I wanted intimate but modern, refined spaces. And so there were seat limitations. I was like, well, I can't invite more than 125 people. I know more than 125 people love me, but I got 125. Okay, so y'all are the 125. My mama turned 77 yesterday. They gave us, she was 62 when she was uh diagnosed, they say three to six years. I was even intentional about moved by smart. I know we're gonna but Coca-Cola hadn't helped me make it as a character. That's right. Everybody that was a sponsor has been a part of my personal journey of wellness. So, and this is the baby care. Woo! This is the good old girls' network. Okay, my dentist is taking care of me and my mama, y'all can be a cousin, but whatever. The Alzheimer's Association made sure that I didn't get lost in myself because I'm new to Atlanta. I ain't new to the South, but I'm new to Atlanta. So all of them, links to equity, everybody that you see listed, they really did a part of helping me stand strong. And that meant something to me. Not to just say who might give me some life. Okay. And caregivers, the wanda, you don't want to say right now. I think so. That's the problem. And she didn't want to, she didn't want to work this far. She needs help. There really are too many of you to personally name individual. But if you are here any case to the front, you are the 65 inside the one place. I need you to know how much you matters to me. This man back over here, everybody was like, who is the white court? Don't know how to say try to have a little white people. It's extra emotional because he knew my dad. He knew my father. He knew about he lives in Alabama, but if he here, all the caregivers have his numbers. If I'm out of town and the bar falls off, or somebody's running around the yard, he comes with something on my gun. That's my good white beat. I gotta get Lola Donna Lola. You know, everybody been asking me, are you glad? I mean it to the lady messed up, but I will tell you, we can't took the road. My Howard family, my Montgomery family, my Sanford family came, my Cumberland Long Cube family came, my Delta family came, my money people came. Make sure I don't go rush. It's very important. It's very important. My license are here, my Neos are here, my Neo's Neos are here, you know what I mean? So that's only because the Holy Spirit infused me with the best in this whole world. I have a one go for a reality show. Some of y'all know, so make this happen. I want to have, I call it a crew off. You put your crew against my crew, and we see like who does the best through the uh, you know, weather value, challenges all the stuff. And I want to go against Oprah again. I think my crew would fuck the shit. But they do have to give me the same resources. Like, I need the private plane, too. Because that's just how Mark. Y'all have held me down for so long. I love it. He's my new wife, but I ain't known him but a mom. But yeah, but he helps helps me be able to stand in here. So, look, my two sisters' brothers, raise your hands, please. They bust me around. They bust me around all the all the time. And she don't want me to do this. So don't clap too long. But since the day my father stopped breathing, Monica tossed with night. Yes. Give us a fight. Monica, she is not a night out. And she puts her phone on. I would call her at three in the morning and she would just turn over with an ass. The Holy Spirit. I'm like, why did you have she was like, something woke me up?

unknown: 12:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01: 12:55

The phone didn't ring though. That's right. That's right. That's right. And she didn't tell me I had to stop drinking that morning. Oh my god, yeah, well, this can you do some water in between? That's the love right there. I would like all my lines of holding. Just hold your hand up. My Neos. My Neos Neos. So I don't what I what I want you all to do, please, when you leave here, is to leave the joke that came out of chaos. So when something chaos happens, you're like recently. Chaos will go away. And you will be a champion again. And the people y'all know you can hire us.

unknown: 14:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_01: 14:14

We give speeches, but we can give us a long fans and we talk about it. We do speeches on Thare Giving and Alzheimer's and comedy. We do comedy in night jobs, my mixed all the things. Okay? Okay? And we will give the uh show movie distribution. And so at some point, you all as we know that you are part of history. Our podcast producers here. I love you all. We love you too, James. So much. Um, my grandparents are deceived, my dad is deceived, my mom can't articulate to me. But would each of you show up or tell me not to be loved together? It helps. But I will make it good and shit right now. She taught me how to do this. Thank you for tuning in. I mean, really, really, really, thank you so very much for tuning in. Whether you're watching this on YouTube or if you're listening on your favorite podcast audio platform. Either way, wherever you are, subscribe. Come back. That's the way you're gonna know when we do something next. Y'all know how it is. I'm Jay Smiles. I might just drop something hot in the middle of the night.